This Is My Suicide Letter, Part 9

EXT. HORSE ISLAND - NIGHT
The three are sitting on Horse Island just under a tree in a field of popcorn blowing about in the wind. There is so much popcorn that you can hardly see the grass beneath.
MICAH
You believe in God?
ELLIS
Your lookin at him.
MICAH
Then were all pretty much screwed.
OLLIE
Never really gave it much thought, but if there is he sure doesn’t come around here much. Except, for this one time...
ELLIS
Ollie, for the last time, that happened to me!
OLLIE
Yeah but I saw it.
MICAH
Seriously.
ELLIS
Micah why do you care? What would change if there is a God? Would you quit stealing or something?
MICAH
No. I sit in chapel and listen to the generic, car salesman tell us that if Jesus returns before we accept him into our hearts, then we get to roast in hell or something, and never fails, every week there are 30 kids, not including Ollie kneeling down at that step crying for a half hour while all the teachers cry together with them and speak in tongues. Then after it is all over, those same teachers tell me I was the one who broke the bathroom window or crapped in the urinal.
OLLIE
But you did crap in the urinal.
MICAH
I know but they don’t know that when they accuse me. It just doesn’t seem real.
ELLIS
They have no concept of reality, but that doesn’t mean there is no God. Who knows, maybe I am God. And if I am, I’m sending Ollie straight to hell. Let’s go!
The three jump up from there spots on the ground and duck down face to the floor. All three of them have blow guns in their hands and they begin shooting rapid darts at the geese who have come in to eat the popcorn trap the boys have set.
CUT TO:
INT. OLLIE’S VAN - NIGHT
As the three drive home, music plays on the radio and Micah is in shotgun drinking a fifth of peach liquor.
MICAH
Ollie, you want some of this.
Micah looks back at Ollie who is trying to make a dead goose smoke a cigarette. Micah grins and shakes his head.
ELLIS
Micah, your mom say anything about your recent incarceration?
MICAH
Nah, she just kicked me out, this time for good. Good word, incarceration.
ELLIS
Where have you been sleeping?
MICAH
Me and Cameron had been sleeping in my car, till her mom made her leave town.
OLLIE
Micah, it’s cold outside, your going to freeze to death.
ELLIS
Micah, you know you can sleep at my house, you’re acting really wierd.
MICAH
When I think about death, I think about wearing a tie everyday to work, listening to your boss puking orders at you while you are up to your knees in camel crap as it is. I think of all of the people that do the same routine everyday of their lives. They get up, they eat and get ready for their tie, then, they go off to the same job and do the same thing that they did the day before, just to come home and go to bed to do it again. That, my friends, is death to me. I would rather freeze to death in my car.
Camera moves closer to Micah’s face as he just stares out the window.
FADE OUT.
INT. FUNERAL HOME - DAY
Micah walks into the front door of a funeral home and sits down in one of the waiting room chairs. A moment later a young looking girl in a black business suit approaches him and greets him with a warm hand shake.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Hi, I’m Diane how can we help you today.
MICAH
(Warmly) Hi Diane, I’m Micah and I need to make some funeral arrangements.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
I’m sorry, but you have come to the right place. We have some really good deals going on right now. Casket, make-up, service, and burial for $10,000 out the door.
MICAH
(Smiling but in shock as if he doesn’t know if she is joking) That sounds pretty reasonable.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
We have several different payment options, we take credit card, check, or financing for qualified buyers, although we will need $2,000 due at signing.
MICAH
That's OK, I’ll be paying in cash.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
OK great. We just need to get some information from you about the deceased.
MICAH
Oh, not dead yet, but soon.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
OK, do you have any idea how you would like the service.
MICAH
Yeah I thought it would be great if you could just set up a drive through window, so when people came for the viewing they could just pull around and look at me, you know, propped up in the window and pass any flowers or money in through a little shoot by the window, then leave.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
(Looks in amazement) Um. We don’t...
MICAH
I’m serious. No I’m kidding. No serious.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
About the casket. How tall is the soon to be deceased?
MICAH
(Checking his own height with his hand) About yay tall.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
How much does he or she weigh?
MICAH
165 pounds.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Boy or girl?
MICAH
Pink caskets for girls, blue for boys?
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
No we set up the flowers differently for different sexes. How do you know the you know.
MICAH
I am he.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
(Shocked) Sorry, how...
MICAH
Tuberculosis. I was diagnosed with a rare form and it is untreatable.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
How long do you have?
MICAH
A couple of days. Maybe weeks.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
You look great.
MICAH
Thanks, so do you.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
(Blushing) Thanks. What would you like to do?
MICAH
Well maybe some music playing in the background and maybe people can put my limbs in weird positions you know for fun.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
No, I mean, before you die, what do you want to do?
MICAH
Oh, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it lately. I think I would like to go see the ocean, or maybe see old friends and family. Go skydiving. I’ve always been afraid of airplanes, it would be great to jump out of one with no shoot.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Does it hurt?
MICAH
Yeah, really bad, I won’t cry though.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Is the pain going to get worse?
MICAH
Always does, doesn’t it?
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
I guess it does. Are you scared. Well, I’m and idiot, of course you are, I’m so stupid. I mean how does it feel to know your dying.
The camera closes in on Micah who seems to be pondering this questions very seriously.
MICAH
I’m not really scared. Kinda anxious to get it over with. The hard part is actually dying. Everything else is everyday stuff. I look at things differently, I see the world differently. Every conversation I have could be the last one. When I see someone I know, it may be for the last time. When someone gets mad at me, I don’t get mad, cuz I don’t want to leave on a bad note, then they feel bad about when that was the last thing they said to me. The thought is kind of liberating really. I don’t have to worry about what I am going to do for a living, or pay bills. I don’t have to look for a wife, or worry about raising kids. The pressure is off me, all I have to do is die.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
How is your family holding up?
MICAH
They don’t know yet.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
(Shocked) When are you going to tell them?
MICAH
I don’t know. When is a right time to tell your mom that she is about to lose her little baby? I’ve just been putting it off until a better time, but that time has not come yet. I don’t really talk to my family that much.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Is there nothing that the doctors can do?
MICAH
Not unless they can give me my life back. I thought about cremation, just getting roasted, then letting the wind blow me away. Kinda fitting for me. But there is something about a graveyard that says, forever. And a headstone, that sums up your life in $100 a letter.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
I’ve never heard of someone dying of TB anymore.
MICAH
They don’t. There is always something they can do right?
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
No offense but don’t you think you should try harder, or get more opinions or try different medication or something?
MICAH
It doesn’t matter. I’m tired. I’m sick. No matter what the doctors do, I always be those two things. I don’t know, maybe this isn’t a good day to do this.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Maybe not, but you know who to see when you are ready. I hope and pray that you beat this and I see you again 20 years from now. You are too young to feel the way you do.
MICAH
I don’t feel young. Thank you for your time, and I will be seeing you soon, whether I can respond or not, I mean to say hi.
Gets up and leaves the girl standing there speechless.
FADE OUT.
EXT. CITY STREET (FALL) - NIGHT
Micah is staggering down the street, with tears in his eyes. He is holding a bottle of booze in his hand, the bottle is almost empty. Micah reaches the train tracks and he stops and pauses before stepping onto the tracks, but as he does he has a look of determination in his eyes, a look as if it really is time. He starts walking at a quick pace, he is breathing very heavy and his hands are shaking, shaking so much the bottle of booze drops and shatters onto the rail of the tracks, Micah can hear a very distant train whistle. As Micah walks he begins to think about different things in his life. He thinks of the home made rockets being launched into the air, the kid he hit in the head with the baseball bat, the old man sitting on the wicker chair on his porch. Cold has appeared behind him, actually having to try to keep pace.
COLD
Where you goin so fast?
Micah does not answer, if fact he doesn’t even acknowledge the presence of Cold walking behind him.
COLD
You don’t think you are actually going to do this do you. You are too afraid. In your whole life you never had the guts to try anything big, what makes you think this time is better. I have given you the opportunity many times and in every case, the same thing happens. You think about it, you almost do it...almost. Then you break down and sob like a little girl. Your a coward.
Micah picks up his step a little more and looks more determined. He thinks of his principle yelling at him, then flashes to his mothers friend zipping up the sleeping bag on him.
COLD
Aren’t you even going to say goodbye to me. I have been with you your whole life, don’t you think you owe me that much, a simple little, “Goodbye dad” Would that be so hard. By now you realize that I am not leaving, I am here for you, and I am not leaving because you are not leaving.
Micah continues on ignoring him. Cold is noticeably deteriorating as he pulls a small chunk of his hair out of his head, his complexion has a bruised look to it, his skin a little more pale, his eyes a little darker and bruised.
COLD
You really are going to do this aren’t you? I can’t believe it, You make a father so proud. Little coward finally listens to his old man.
Micah looks over his right and he can see the cross at the top of the bell tower at the Catholic Church.
COLD
(Looking at the church bell.) Not gonna help you at all. Cathedrals and towers are signatures of man’s arrogance. All of the bricks and mortar, all of the death and bloodshed, these things are mans things, your things. There is no more God in there than out here.
FADE OUT.
INT. CLUBHOUSE - DAY
Micah (12) sits in a large throne-like chair in the center of the club house. There are two guards (Vern and Ryan) standing at each side of him looking out to the front. Outside the club house there are two guards standing at the door guarding as though Micah were a king. Micah is breathing heavy as he looks out the front door, he is building up courage here. He pauses then leaps to his feet.
MICAH 12
Lets go!
EXT. STREET - DAY
Micah, the four guards and about 10 other kids start walking down the street with Micah leading the way. They walk for a while until they get to a park. As they cross the street the camera show a pair of shoes hanging over the electrical wire. They cross the street and meet about 15 kids sitting on a merry-go-round talking. The gang approaches quickly.
MICAH 12
What are you doing?
RIVAL GANG MEMBER
What? Sitting here.
MICAH 12
Exactly. Did you get permission to sit in my territory?
RIVAL GANG MEMBER
Your territory?

Micah points to the shoes hanging on the wire.
MICAH 12
My territory.
RIVAL GANG MEMBER
(Getting up) Your name isn’t written here. I can go wherever I want.
MICAH 12
(Punches him in the face, the kid falls backwards) Now my name is written on you.
The rival gang members gaze at there fallen leader, then at Micah and attack. A large rumble ensues as Micah’s gang (The Brat Patrol) Defeats the rival gang rather easily, leaving only one of the Brat Patrol members (Bobby) lying on the ground after being hit in the face with a plastic bat. During the battle, Micah has a look of rage and hatred as he takes his aggression out on as many kids as possible. The Brat patrol dusts themselves off and begin to leave.
VERN
What about Bobby?
MICAH 12
Leave him. If all he is going to do is cry, I don’t even want to know him.
CUT TO:
EXT. MICAH’S BACK YARD - DAY
Micah, Vern, and Ryan are sitting in chairs with the rest of the kids standing around as Micah instructs some of the younger girls of the day care how to fight each other. Micah has pinned two girls against each other who are not at all evenly matched. He approaches the corner of the older girl.
MICAH 12
OK, I want you to come right out at the bell, and devastate her with a right hand to the nose as hard as you can.
OLDER GIRL
(Nods) OK.
Micah walks to the other side.
MICAH 12
I want you to come out at the bell and just stand there. She won’t know what to do, and she will get confused, and after a minute or so, then heave a left hand at her arm.
SMALL GIRL
What if she hits me?
MICAH 12
She will be too confused to hit you.
SMALL GIRL
OK.
Vern rings the bell and out come the two. The smaller girl just stands there as the larger girl wrecks her in the nose, spurting blood all over her face and dropping her to the ground in a screaming mess. Micah tries to get her to be quiet, but he is unsuccessful as Maxine comes running out to the little girl and comforts her. She hugs the little girl and looks over to Micah who is just staring at the mess he has made of this little girl.
MAXINE
Who are you? Who are you! Your a monster.
FADE TO:
INT. FAMILY CAMPER - NIGHT
Maxine is driving the camper with the boys playing in the back. Micah is 7 years old.
MICAH 7
(Hopping down from the bed above)Mom this is the greatest car ever!
MAXINE
I am glad you like it cuz it is all we have right now.
MATHEW
(13 years old) Can my friends spend the night out here?
MICAH 7
Mine too?
MAXINE
I don’t think so, there isn’t a lock on the back door, I don’t want anyone to steal you.
MICAH 7
How long will we have the camper?
MAXINE
Well at least a couple of months, we are paid up until then.
MATHEW
Then what?
MAXINE
We’ll have to find a different way of getting around, but I think we will have it forever.
Micah smiles.
CUT TO:
INT. MICAH’S HOUSE - DAY
Micah gets up in the morning and throws his clothes on and runs toward the front door.
MAXINE
Where you going?
MICAH 7
To the camper.
Maxine looks sad and just allows him to go.
CUT TO:
EXT. MICAH’S FRONT DOOR - DAY
Micah flings the door open and walks outside to see nothing but the driveway with an oil spot and tire marks leading out of the driveway. Maxine approaches from behind him.
MICAH 7
Mom, what happened to the camper.
MAXINE
Someone stole it last night.
The camera goes to Maxine who is gazing into the street with guilt on her face.
MICAH 7
Why would anyone steal our camper?
MAXINE
I don’t know hunny, but they caught the guys, and we have to go get our stuff out of it.
MICAH 7
Then we can take the camper home too?
MAXINE
No they need it for evidence, anyway, we don’t need that camper anyway, you can walk to school and we can get rides to church.
MICAH 7
Mom, I want it back!
MAXINE
Sorry buddy. There will be other campers.
Micah just looks in disappointment at the empty space in the driveway.
FADE OUT.