In Da Club Script (Rough Draft)

IN THE CLUB

INT. STRIP CLUB - NIGHT
A young guy walks into the strip club and sits down at the bar in front of the stage. There are lights flashing all around him and guys shouting as the dancers perform and comb the room for possible private dances. He sits and stares up at the stage as a waitress approaches him and asks what he was having. You cannot hear his words, and she walks away only to bring him his drink moments later. He sips it and looks down at the table.
ASIA
I haven’t seen you in forever.
Paul looks to his left to see this beautiful and under dressed female sitting next to him smiling.
BEN
(Smiling, but looking confused) ...Not really do understanding what you are talking about, but I’ll bite.
ASIA
I was Ariel then. Kinda the thing at the time, Disney characters. It must have been 10, 11 years ago.
BEN
Sorry.
ASIA
Come on, I know it was a long time ago, it’s me, Pam.
BEN
(Looking away a little, then taking a drink) It must have been longer or something because I am not really seeing it. I got a brother; names James. Looks a lot like me, except older.
ASIA
Maybe. What is he like?
BEN
He’s pretty awesome actually. He’s my hero. Kind of raised me you know.
ASIA
I have a sister that did that.
BEN
He’s really religious though. But it’s cool because he’s been everywhere. Haiti, Russia, everywhere, doing missionary work.
ASIA
That’s him! I used to hang out with him, he came here a few times. He became a Christian a few weeks later and started taking me to church with him. What happened to him?
BEN
He made a lot of mistakes, then did a lot of good things. I think he did mention you before now that I think about it. You have a little girl right?
ASIA
Yeah, he told you that?
BEN
He used to feel so bad about things. He worried a lot about people. He said he was praying for you.
ASIA
He used to read me his poetry. It was some pretty deep stuff.
BEN
He’s not that deep. I think he talks a lot. In reality, I think he is no better than the rest of us you know.
ASIA
Yeah, I don’t know. I still talk about him with my friends. He was a different guy than most.
BEN
He’s no different.
ASIA
He was to me. He was the first Christian to ever tell me that Jesus loved me how I am right now. It was kind of life changing for me. Then I lost touch. I always wondered though what happened to him. I thought he would have changed the world by now.
BEN
He probably could have if it weren’t for his porn addiction.
ASIA
Do you see him much?
BEN
I don’t see him too much anymore. He’s a ghost. He kind of burned, then fizzled, then disappeared.
The dancer looks deeper into Ben’s eyes.
ASIA
You sure your not him? You look so much a like.
BEN
It ain’t me. I am just a guy on a stool talking to a beautiful girl. Wondering how the past 13 years has treated her. I’m sure my brother would have been really happy to see you. He would have told you to keep looking up. He used to tell me that until I stopped listening to him. He would tell you that you are more valuable than this. He would tell you that despite his mistakes, he meant everything he said to you. He would tell you, he has made a lot of mistakes too and really needs God everyday to survive them. He would look you in the eyes (Ben turns toward her to look into her eyes) and tell you that you are beautiful, not because you are naked, and not because you every guy says that to you. He would mean it from the inside out. He would tell you to get out of here and go sit in the sun for a while and keep looking up. (Looking down, then back up again). I think he would tell you that your eyes look empty, different than before. Hollow and empty of life. Then he would tell you they match his.
The voice over the microphone introduces Asia to the stage.
ASIA
(Eyes glossy) If you see James, tell him I miss him and would love to see him again soon. I miss going to church with him.
Asia gets up and climbs the stairs to the stage. Ben stands an drops a dollar on the bar and walks out of the club.
FADE TO BLACK.

This Is My Suicide Letter, The Conclusion

INT. MICAH’S BED ROOM - NIGHT
Micah (19) lies on the bed sleeping as the camera speeds up the shot showing Micah sleeping, changing positions and night and day flashing through the window next to him. Every few shots there is Cold standing in different places in the room. The scene culminates to Cold sitting on the side of Micah’s bed running his fingers through Micah’s hair as Micah shivers and cries in his sleep, retching at the hands of the evil one.
FADE OUT.
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - NIGHT
Micah (19) walks down the tracks throwing stones at the ground as he walks. He is talking to himself.
MICAH
This is real. Come on Micah, Just breathe.
Micah lights a cigarette and continues walking down the tracks.
EXT. BASEBALL FIELD - DAY
He flashes to memory himself at 5 swinging and hitting a baseball off the tee into the infield, as the shortstop fields it and beats him to the bag, then flashes to the coach and him.
MICAH 7
(Wincing in pain and stuttering) I have diarrhea. (All the kids laugh at him.
FADE TO:
INT. CITY STREET - DAY
The old man and woman are on the porch. The woman has died and the man is holding her in his arms and weeping to the air as he cradles her dead body.
FADE TO:
EXT. JIM COURD’S HOUSE - NIGHT
The memory flashes to Micah seeing his dad for the first time, then to the gun as it unloads bullets into Jim’s body, then flashes to the rose dropping onto Micah’s body.
FADE TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE THE BAR - NIGHT
The flashback ends with Micah looking back in slow motion to Ellis who is waving him back, Micah stares then turns and walks away from him. The camera then cuts to Micah’s suicide letter dropping to the bed.
FADE TO:
INT. MAXINE’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Maxine is lying on the couch watching TV
FADE TO:
EXT. HORSE ISLAND - NIGHT
Ellis and Ollie are sitting fishing on Horse Island without Micah, silently sitting.
FADE TO:
EXT. JIM COURD’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Jim Courd is sitting in his family room with his wife, laughing at as they play a board game.
FADE TO:
INT. LIQUOR STORE - NIGHT
The pretty blonde girl is working at the liquor store giving change to a patron buying a bottle of Jack Daniels. She smiles warmly at the man as he walks out the door.
FADE TO:
INT. OLD MAN’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
The old man is sleeping as the camera shows his face on the pillow and a picture of his wife lying on her pillow next to him.
FADE TO:
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - NIGHT
Micah stops walking in the middle of no where and lies down on the train tracks, putting his head on one of the rails as a headrest. He lights a cigarette and looks to his left where Cold had been, but is now gone. Micah is alone now. A tear rolls down his face as he is shaking in fear, and cold, his hand trembles as he puts the cigarette to his lips. The camera moves into Micah’s eyes again for his thoughts.
EXT. MICAH’S BACK YARD - DAY
Micah (12) throws the football up into the air and runs underneath it to catch it falling onto the ground as if he had been tackled in the end zone, he gets up and jumps up and down in victory and spikes the ball to the ground.
FADE TO:
INT. ELLIS’ CAR - DAY
Micah (19) peers in through the window of a child sitting crying in the backseat of his parents car as the two parents fight. Micah looks intently at the boy.
FADE TO:
EXT. OVERPASS BRIDGE - NIGHT
Micah (7) Micah is back in his Superman pajamas staring over the side of the overpass bridge at the traffic driving below him, he looks over and there is Cold laughing at him.
FADE TO:
EXT. MICAH’S DRIVEWAY - DAY
Micah (9) is staring at the tire tracks in the driveway and looking over his shoulder to his mother who also stares at the driveway.
FADE TO:
INT. CAMPER - DAY
Micah (age 5) and Mathew sit facing each other rocking simultaneously toward each other acting as if they are going to bump heads only to move in a chicken like manner to the side alternating sides with every turn.
MICAH
You ever think about your dad?
MATHEW
All the time, I asked mom about him, she got kinda mad, so I don’t talk about it. Try not to think about it. It won’t help anything.
MICAH
But still, it would be nice to see him.
MATHEW
Yeah, my dad was around before he left, makes it kinda worse to know him then lose him.
MICAH
Yeah.
Micah leans back and starts making shadow puppets on the ceiling.
MICAH
Look, Richard Nixon.
FADE TO:
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - NIGHT
Micah (19) is smoking and lying on the tracks with tears streaming down his face as he turns his head to the right and sees a train approaching very quickly.
FADE TO:
INT. MICAH’S ROOM - NIGHT
Ellis walks into Micah’s room and goes to his bed and picks up the suicide note and starts to read it.
FADE TO:
INT. OLLIE’S VAN - NIGHT
Ollie is driving away from Micah’s house and he gets a puzzled, and alarmed look on his face, and turns the car heading for the tracks.
FADE TO:
INT. MICAH’S BED ROOM - NIGHT
Ellis throws down the notebook and runs to the door and exits to the outside, only to stand in helplessness outside the door, looking at Micah’s car and out into the distance.
FADE TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
Ellis begins walking down the street back to the Dive bar, where his band is playing still without him or Micah. Jimmy is walking out of the club with Lisa.
ELLIS
Jimmy, you see Micah?
JIMMY
No, he hasn’t been back here.
ELLIS
Alright.
Ellis goes back to the door and exits.
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - NIGHT
Ollie gets out of his car and starts running down the tracks as fast as he can.
FADE TO:
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - NIGHT
Micah is staring at the train in the distance as it quickly approaches. He is still thinking of different times in his life.
FADE TO:
INT. PLAYGROUND - DAY
Micah (12) swings the bat and hits the bully in the head with it watching him crumble to the ground.
FADE TO:
INT. ELLIS’S ROOM - DAY
Ellis lights Micah’s armpit on fire as he sleeps sending Micah into a panic to put it out.
FADE TO:
EXT. MICAH’S CAR - DAY
Micah and Cameron are fighting as she grabs her clothes and shoves them into the suitcase in the trunk and grabs the suitcase and walks away.
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - NIGHT
Micah sees the train approaching very close to him, about 20 feet as the camera flashes from Micah’s face to the train approaching to Ollie running down the tracks and Ellis weeping violently outside the bar. The scene flashes to Micah’s face that has blood on it and to his eyes that are now closed.
MICAH
(Whimpers) Hear me.
FADE TO BLACK.
EXT. POWER LINES - DAY
The scene shows a flock of birds perched next to the shoes on the power line, the birds suddenly fly away.
FADE TO:
EXT. OVERPASS BRIDGE - NIGHT
Micah (7) is looking over the edge of the overpass and then back at Cold who is laughing at him. Micah looks back at the freeway, then back at Cold and he smiles at Cold which causes Colds face to change to bewilderment. Micah then steps up onto the railing and jumps head first in a swan dive off the bridge leaving Cold by himself, smiling.
FADE TO BLACK.
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - NIGHT
Micah lies there motionless with his eyes closed for a few moments, blood smeared on his face. Micah opens his eyes and sees the train off in the distance about 20 feet away from him rolling by rapidly. He then looks to Ollie who is lying on top of him holding his hand in pain. Micah is puzzled as he tries to make sense of the situation.
MICAH
How did you?
Micah passes out.
FADE OUT.
INT. MICAH’S BED ROOM - NIGHT
Micah is writing in his suicide letter, sitting on the floor leaning against the bed.
MICAH
(Narrated) Ever wondered what your last couple minutes of life would be like? I have wondered this forever, now I know.
Micah sits on the floor of his bedroom just thinking and staring at the wall trying to figure things out.
INT. MICAH’S BATHROOM - NIGHT
He gets up and runs the bath water and grabs a razor blade out of the medicine cabinet and looks into the mirror at his reflection.
MICAH
(Narrating) My uncle Dink used to play with trains before he died. He had his whole basement turned into one big toy train track, and he would sit down there for hours just watching the train travel all around the walls through the trees and then back again. I guess it brought him comfort because you can always count on trains. Maybe it wasn’t the train, that failed me. I had hoped to someday make a hero out of those tracks, to someday kill the clown, and save the world from its ugliness. See the myth is that we are all innocent or even more that any one of us is innocent, you are all on these tracks heading the same direction right here with me. I pass by a group of teenage kids talking in the dark in their back yards, I see priests and pastors praying for themselves, I see an ambulance that is heading my direction on its way to pick up a dead kid, but most of all I see a five year old boy playing catch with himself in the front yard, throwing up the ball and running under it for a touchdown catch and all the glory of celebrating alone, that kid has no idea, that kid is golden, that kid is stupid, that kid loves his mother, he says he hates his brother, but really only says that to his friends to be cool, he has a stuttering problem, that kid is growing up.

Micah sits on the side of the tub staring at the blade as it shines and reflects the light in the room. The bath is full, so Micah gets into the water with his pants still on and lays back into the water.
MICAH
God if you have something to say to me, say it.
Micah closes his eyes and puts the blade to his neck.
FADE TO:
EXT. THE PARK - DAY
This is a vision. It is a beautiful day and Micah is sitting, older now on the grass as a little boy (Micah 3) runs around him laughing in circles. He glances over to his side and sees, the pretty blonde next to him, with the sun shining off her golden hair, she is smiling at him and leans over and kisses him.
FADE TO:
INT. MAXINE’S HOUSE - DAY
Micah (3) is being held by his mother in her arms and being rocked, the scene switches back and forth to him now and him then both being held in his mothers arms, rocking him back and forth as he weeps.
FADE TO:
INT. CHRIS’ ROOM - DAY
The scene shows the rope hanging on the ceiling fan of Chris’ bedroom as Chris walks away from it, grazing Micah’s hand as he walks by smiling at Micah. Micah’s gaze follows him right through the door as he dissolves before his eyes.
FADE TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
The vision goes to the bell tower again as it shows the cross on the church.
FADE TO:
INT. MICAH’S ROOM - NIGHT
Cold and Micah are in his room and Micah is bent over weeping on the ground as Cold stares at him as if he is giving up. Cold is now walking with a cane, and has gobs of blood dripping from his face, his eyes are cut and he looks like he has just been beaten up. Micah looks up at Cold with tears in his eyes, and Cold shoots him a knowing look and a nod and walks through the wall of his room and out of his life. Micah then lifts his head up to the sky and weeps uncontrollably and falls over in weakness.
FADE TO:
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
The camera focuses on the blade of the razor as it falls to the ground out of Micah’s hand to the ground clean of any blood.
FADE TO BLACK

This Is My Suicide Letter, Part 9

EXT. HORSE ISLAND - NIGHT
The three are sitting on Horse Island just under a tree in a field of popcorn blowing about in the wind. There is so much popcorn that you can hardly see the grass beneath.
MICAH
You believe in God?
ELLIS
Your lookin at him.
MICAH
Then were all pretty much screwed.
OLLIE
Never really gave it much thought, but if there is he sure doesn’t come around here much. Except, for this one time...
ELLIS
Ollie, for the last time, that happened to me!
OLLIE
Yeah but I saw it.
MICAH
Seriously.
ELLIS
Micah why do you care? What would change if there is a God? Would you quit stealing or something?
MICAH
No. I sit in chapel and listen to the generic, car salesman tell us that if Jesus returns before we accept him into our hearts, then we get to roast in hell or something, and never fails, every week there are 30 kids, not including Ollie kneeling down at that step crying for a half hour while all the teachers cry together with them and speak in tongues. Then after it is all over, those same teachers tell me I was the one who broke the bathroom window or crapped in the urinal.
OLLIE
But you did crap in the urinal.
MICAH
I know but they don’t know that when they accuse me. It just doesn’t seem real.
ELLIS
They have no concept of reality, but that doesn’t mean there is no God. Who knows, maybe I am God. And if I am, I’m sending Ollie straight to hell. Let’s go!
The three jump up from there spots on the ground and duck down face to the floor. All three of them have blow guns in their hands and they begin shooting rapid darts at the geese who have come in to eat the popcorn trap the boys have set.
CUT TO:
INT. OLLIE’S VAN - NIGHT
As the three drive home, music plays on the radio and Micah is in shotgun drinking a fifth of peach liquor.
MICAH
Ollie, you want some of this.
Micah looks back at Ollie who is trying to make a dead goose smoke a cigarette. Micah grins and shakes his head.
ELLIS
Micah, your mom say anything about your recent incarceration?
MICAH
Nah, she just kicked me out, this time for good. Good word, incarceration.
ELLIS
Where have you been sleeping?
MICAH
Me and Cameron had been sleeping in my car, till her mom made her leave town.
OLLIE
Micah, it’s cold outside, your going to freeze to death.
ELLIS
Micah, you know you can sleep at my house, you’re acting really wierd.
MICAH
When I think about death, I think about wearing a tie everyday to work, listening to your boss puking orders at you while you are up to your knees in camel crap as it is. I think of all of the people that do the same routine everyday of their lives. They get up, they eat and get ready for their tie, then, they go off to the same job and do the same thing that they did the day before, just to come home and go to bed to do it again. That, my friends, is death to me. I would rather freeze to death in my car.
Camera moves closer to Micah’s face as he just stares out the window.
FADE OUT.
INT. FUNERAL HOME - DAY
Micah walks into the front door of a funeral home and sits down in one of the waiting room chairs. A moment later a young looking girl in a black business suit approaches him and greets him with a warm hand shake.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Hi, I’m Diane how can we help you today.
MICAH
(Warmly) Hi Diane, I’m Micah and I need to make some funeral arrangements.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
I’m sorry, but you have come to the right place. We have some really good deals going on right now. Casket, make-up, service, and burial for $10,000 out the door.
MICAH
(Smiling but in shock as if he doesn’t know if she is joking) That sounds pretty reasonable.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
We have several different payment options, we take credit card, check, or financing for qualified buyers, although we will need $2,000 due at signing.
MICAH
That's OK, I’ll be paying in cash.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
OK great. We just need to get some information from you about the deceased.
MICAH
Oh, not dead yet, but soon.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
OK, do you have any idea how you would like the service.
MICAH
Yeah I thought it would be great if you could just set up a drive through window, so when people came for the viewing they could just pull around and look at me, you know, propped up in the window and pass any flowers or money in through a little shoot by the window, then leave.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
(Looks in amazement) Um. We don’t...
MICAH
I’m serious. No I’m kidding. No serious.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
About the casket. How tall is the soon to be deceased?
MICAH
(Checking his own height with his hand) About yay tall.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
How much does he or she weigh?
MICAH
165 pounds.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Boy or girl?
MICAH
Pink caskets for girls, blue for boys?
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
No we set up the flowers differently for different sexes. How do you know the you know.
MICAH
I am he.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
(Shocked) Sorry, how...
MICAH
Tuberculosis. I was diagnosed with a rare form and it is untreatable.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
How long do you have?
MICAH
A couple of days. Maybe weeks.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
You look great.
MICAH
Thanks, so do you.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
(Blushing) Thanks. What would you like to do?
MICAH
Well maybe some music playing in the background and maybe people can put my limbs in weird positions you know for fun.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
No, I mean, before you die, what do you want to do?
MICAH
Oh, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it lately. I think I would like to go see the ocean, or maybe see old friends and family. Go skydiving. I’ve always been afraid of airplanes, it would be great to jump out of one with no shoot.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Does it hurt?
MICAH
Yeah, really bad, I won’t cry though.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Is the pain going to get worse?
MICAH
Always does, doesn’t it?
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
I guess it does. Are you scared. Well, I’m and idiot, of course you are, I’m so stupid. I mean how does it feel to know your dying.
The camera closes in on Micah who seems to be pondering this questions very seriously.
MICAH
I’m not really scared. Kinda anxious to get it over with. The hard part is actually dying. Everything else is everyday stuff. I look at things differently, I see the world differently. Every conversation I have could be the last one. When I see someone I know, it may be for the last time. When someone gets mad at me, I don’t get mad, cuz I don’t want to leave on a bad note, then they feel bad about when that was the last thing they said to me. The thought is kind of liberating really. I don’t have to worry about what I am going to do for a living, or pay bills. I don’t have to look for a wife, or worry about raising kids. The pressure is off me, all I have to do is die.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
How is your family holding up?
MICAH
They don’t know yet.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
(Shocked) When are you going to tell them?
MICAH
I don’t know. When is a right time to tell your mom that she is about to lose her little baby? I’ve just been putting it off until a better time, but that time has not come yet. I don’t really talk to my family that much.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Is there nothing that the doctors can do?
MICAH
Not unless they can give me my life back. I thought about cremation, just getting roasted, then letting the wind blow me away. Kinda fitting for me. But there is something about a graveyard that says, forever. And a headstone, that sums up your life in $100 a letter.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
I’ve never heard of someone dying of TB anymore.
MICAH
They don’t. There is always something they can do right?
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
No offense but don’t you think you should try harder, or get more opinions or try different medication or something?
MICAH
It doesn’t matter. I’m tired. I’m sick. No matter what the doctors do, I always be those two things. I don’t know, maybe this isn’t a good day to do this.
FUNERAL HOME WORKER
Maybe not, but you know who to see when you are ready. I hope and pray that you beat this and I see you again 20 years from now. You are too young to feel the way you do.
MICAH
I don’t feel young. Thank you for your time, and I will be seeing you soon, whether I can respond or not, I mean to say hi.
Gets up and leaves the girl standing there speechless.
FADE OUT.
EXT. CITY STREET (FALL) - NIGHT
Micah is staggering down the street, with tears in his eyes. He is holding a bottle of booze in his hand, the bottle is almost empty. Micah reaches the train tracks and he stops and pauses before stepping onto the tracks, but as he does he has a look of determination in his eyes, a look as if it really is time. He starts walking at a quick pace, he is breathing very heavy and his hands are shaking, shaking so much the bottle of booze drops and shatters onto the rail of the tracks, Micah can hear a very distant train whistle. As Micah walks he begins to think about different things in his life. He thinks of the home made rockets being launched into the air, the kid he hit in the head with the baseball bat, the old man sitting on the wicker chair on his porch. Cold has appeared behind him, actually having to try to keep pace.
COLD
Where you goin so fast?
Micah does not answer, if fact he doesn’t even acknowledge the presence of Cold walking behind him.
COLD
You don’t think you are actually going to do this do you. You are too afraid. In your whole life you never had the guts to try anything big, what makes you think this time is better. I have given you the opportunity many times and in every case, the same thing happens. You think about it, you almost do it...almost. Then you break down and sob like a little girl. Your a coward.
Micah picks up his step a little more and looks more determined. He thinks of his principle yelling at him, then flashes to his mothers friend zipping up the sleeping bag on him.
COLD
Aren’t you even going to say goodbye to me. I have been with you your whole life, don’t you think you owe me that much, a simple little, “Goodbye dad” Would that be so hard. By now you realize that I am not leaving, I am here for you, and I am not leaving because you are not leaving.
Micah continues on ignoring him. Cold is noticeably deteriorating as he pulls a small chunk of his hair out of his head, his complexion has a bruised look to it, his skin a little more pale, his eyes a little darker and bruised.
COLD
You really are going to do this aren’t you? I can’t believe it, You make a father so proud. Little coward finally listens to his old man.
Micah looks over his right and he can see the cross at the top of the bell tower at the Catholic Church.
COLD
(Looking at the church bell.) Not gonna help you at all. Cathedrals and towers are signatures of man’s arrogance. All of the bricks and mortar, all of the death and bloodshed, these things are mans things, your things. There is no more God in there than out here.
FADE OUT.
INT. CLUBHOUSE - DAY
Micah (12) sits in a large throne-like chair in the center of the club house. There are two guards (Vern and Ryan) standing at each side of him looking out to the front. Outside the club house there are two guards standing at the door guarding as though Micah were a king. Micah is breathing heavy as he looks out the front door, he is building up courage here. He pauses then leaps to his feet.
MICAH 12
Lets go!
EXT. STREET - DAY
Micah, the four guards and about 10 other kids start walking down the street with Micah leading the way. They walk for a while until they get to a park. As they cross the street the camera show a pair of shoes hanging over the electrical wire. They cross the street and meet about 15 kids sitting on a merry-go-round talking. The gang approaches quickly.
MICAH 12
What are you doing?
RIVAL GANG MEMBER
What? Sitting here.
MICAH 12
Exactly. Did you get permission to sit in my territory?
RIVAL GANG MEMBER
Your territory?

Micah points to the shoes hanging on the wire.
MICAH 12
My territory.
RIVAL GANG MEMBER
(Getting up) Your name isn’t written here. I can go wherever I want.
MICAH 12
(Punches him in the face, the kid falls backwards) Now my name is written on you.
The rival gang members gaze at there fallen leader, then at Micah and attack. A large rumble ensues as Micah’s gang (The Brat Patrol) Defeats the rival gang rather easily, leaving only one of the Brat Patrol members (Bobby) lying on the ground after being hit in the face with a plastic bat. During the battle, Micah has a look of rage and hatred as he takes his aggression out on as many kids as possible. The Brat patrol dusts themselves off and begin to leave.
VERN
What about Bobby?
MICAH 12
Leave him. If all he is going to do is cry, I don’t even want to know him.
CUT TO:
EXT. MICAH’S BACK YARD - DAY
Micah, Vern, and Ryan are sitting in chairs with the rest of the kids standing around as Micah instructs some of the younger girls of the day care how to fight each other. Micah has pinned two girls against each other who are not at all evenly matched. He approaches the corner of the older girl.
MICAH 12
OK, I want you to come right out at the bell, and devastate her with a right hand to the nose as hard as you can.
OLDER GIRL
(Nods) OK.
Micah walks to the other side.
MICAH 12
I want you to come out at the bell and just stand there. She won’t know what to do, and she will get confused, and after a minute or so, then heave a left hand at her arm.
SMALL GIRL
What if she hits me?
MICAH 12
She will be too confused to hit you.
SMALL GIRL
OK.
Vern rings the bell and out come the two. The smaller girl just stands there as the larger girl wrecks her in the nose, spurting blood all over her face and dropping her to the ground in a screaming mess. Micah tries to get her to be quiet, but he is unsuccessful as Maxine comes running out to the little girl and comforts her. She hugs the little girl and looks over to Micah who is just staring at the mess he has made of this little girl.
MAXINE
Who are you? Who are you! Your a monster.
FADE TO:
INT. FAMILY CAMPER - NIGHT
Maxine is driving the camper with the boys playing in the back. Micah is 7 years old.
MICAH 7
(Hopping down from the bed above)Mom this is the greatest car ever!
MAXINE
I am glad you like it cuz it is all we have right now.
MATHEW
(13 years old) Can my friends spend the night out here?
MICAH 7
Mine too?
MAXINE
I don’t think so, there isn’t a lock on the back door, I don’t want anyone to steal you.
MICAH 7
How long will we have the camper?
MAXINE
Well at least a couple of months, we are paid up until then.
MATHEW
Then what?
MAXINE
We’ll have to find a different way of getting around, but I think we will have it forever.
Micah smiles.
CUT TO:
INT. MICAH’S HOUSE - DAY
Micah gets up in the morning and throws his clothes on and runs toward the front door.
MAXINE
Where you going?
MICAH 7
To the camper.
Maxine looks sad and just allows him to go.
CUT TO:
EXT. MICAH’S FRONT DOOR - DAY
Micah flings the door open and walks outside to see nothing but the driveway with an oil spot and tire marks leading out of the driveway. Maxine approaches from behind him.
MICAH 7
Mom, what happened to the camper.
MAXINE
Someone stole it last night.
The camera goes to Maxine who is gazing into the street with guilt on her face.
MICAH 7
Why would anyone steal our camper?
MAXINE
I don’t know hunny, but they caught the guys, and we have to go get our stuff out of it.
MICAH 7
Then we can take the camper home too?
MAXINE
No they need it for evidence, anyway, we don’t need that camper anyway, you can walk to school and we can get rides to church.
MICAH 7
Mom, I want it back!
MAXINE
Sorry buddy. There will be other campers.
Micah just looks in disappointment at the empty space in the driveway.
FADE OUT.

This Is My Suicide Letter, Part 8

INT. MICAH’S SCHOOL - DAY
Micah (16-18) is changing the trash in the men’s room. He is listening to head phones. Ellis walks into the bathroom.
ELLIS
What are you doing?
MICAH
The school says my mom owes them money. She can’t pay.
ELLIS
What? They're making you clean the bathroom?
MICAH
Not just this one. I have to clean all the bathrooms, all the classroom have to be vacuumed, all the halls have to be vacuumed, everything.
ELLIS
Everyday?
MICAH
Yup.
ELLIS
That’s crap, lets get out of here.
MICAH
I can’t, I got to finish this.
ELLIS
Alright, see you at my house later?
MICAH
Yeah, tell your mom I’ll be home for dinner.
ELLIS
Alright, see you later.
MICAH
Bye.
FADE TO:
INT. MICAH’S SCHOOL - NIGHT
It is now dark outside and Micah is still cleaning the school. He is in one of the bathrooms getting ready to clean it when he stops and just stares into the urinal. He stares for several seconds in shock and amazement.
MICAH
Who craps in the urinal?
He pauses contemplating what to do next, to clean and keep his job, or leave it and get fired.
MICAH
Totally worth it.
Micah drops the garbage bag and squirt bottle where they are and walks out of the bathroom.
FADE OUT.
INT. MICAH’S CHILDHOOD ROOM - NIGHT
Micah (12) and Vern are sitting on top of Micah’s top bunk bed. Both are wearing superhero pajamas. Micah looks confident and Vern looks determined.
MICAH 12
This is the final thing you have to do to be a ninja Vern.
VERN
I won’t get hurt?
MICAH 12
Not if you really have what it takes to be a ninja you won’t. You think I would ever ask you to do anything I haven’t done myself? I didn’t kill Bruce Lee by being afraid of getting hurt.
VERN
Alright, I’m ready.
Micah gets behind Vern and takes a belt and ties Vern’s hands behind his back. He then helps Vern to get into position for the plunge. He helps Vern to lay down at the edge of the bed head first on his belly. Micah then gives Vern a push and Vern falls off the top bunk head first with his hands tied behind his back to the floor. Vern hits the floor with his head and all of his body on top of it. Everything just stops and Micah looks at Vern on the floor with his mouth gaping open in shock. Micah jumps off the bed and runs toward the door, throwing it open and screaming for his mom.
MICAH 12
Mom, mom! Vern fell off the bed and he’s bleeding.
MAXINE
Micah, what happened!
Maxine tends to Vern as the scene fades out.
FADE OUT.
EXT. CITY STREET (FALL) - DAY

Micah (19) is walking down the street toward the tracks on a cool Fall morning. Micah looks beat up and ungroomed. Micah is having a terrible hangover. What Micah sees as he walks is a child in the front yard of his house wrestling alone with a pillow with a markered on face and clothes on it. The boy drops an elbow from the porch to the grass and goes for the pin. Micah sees a man on a bike who is obviously mentally handicapped ride his bike aimlessly. The man is wearing a satin tigers jacket and a very dirty Tigers hat. He has a bag of empty pop bottles on the back of his bike.
MICAH
(Narrated) You know what is weird about the whole being watched thing is? It kinda makes me feel a little less alone. I mean don’t get me wrong it stills scares the crap out of me, but I don’t feel completely alone anymore, I guess that’s something.
Micah approaches the door of a liquor store.
FADE OUT.
INT. LIQUOR STORE - DAY
Micah walks into the liquor store to be greeted by that pretty blonde from the grocery store. Micah approaches the counter.
PRETTY BLONDE
You look like you had a rough night.
MICAH
Yeah something like that. I saw you. I mean, I saw you at the grocery store, carrying your bags.
PRETTY BLONDE
Did you help me get them to the car?
Micah looks at her feeling guilty.
MICAH
Yeah. We went out for coffee after, then you invited me to your place, but I wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment yet.
The pretty blonde just smiles.
PRETTY BLONDE
What can I get for you?
MICAH
I’ll have a fifth of Jack.
PRETTY BLONDE
Little early isn’t it.
MICAH
It’s for later, I’m having some friends over then I’m playing a show at the Dive. 10 o’clock if you want to come check it out.
PRETTY BLONDE
We’ll see. I need to paint my nails, and resurface my floor tonight, but you never know. You got Id?
Micah grins at her with a cocky grin, expecting to see her tonight.
MICAH
No, but I’m clearly at least 50. I’ll see you tonight then.
Micah hands the girl a 20 dollar bill, which the girl slides back to him on the counter. The pretty blonde just gives a we’ll see nod at him, hands him the Jack and smiles and Micah exits the store.
CUT TO:
INT. MICAH’S BED ROOM - NIGHT
Micah (19) wakes up in the middle of the night. There is classical, but eerie music playing on the CD player next to his head. Micah is alone tonight, not even Cold is here to greet him in the night. Micah sits up on his bed and looks at the alarm clock, it says 4:01. Micah lights a cigarette and starts putting on his clothes. Tonight Micah is sober. Micah makes his way to the door, kicking beer and whiskey bottles across the room as he does. Micah exits the apartment and steps into the cold night air.
CUT TO:
EXT. MICAH’S CAR - NIGHT
Micah (19) walks to his car, gets in and pulls out of the parking lot. The streets are completely devoid of people. The street lights are blinking at every intersection as Micah rolls through them. The city is a graveyard. Micah pulls onto a quiet, dark street and parks the car in front of someone’s house and gets out. He moves to the trunk of the car and pulls out a fishing pole and a tackle box.
CUT TO:
EXT. HORSE ISLAND - NIGHT
Micah (19) is just sitting there and fishing and smoking. Micah is waiting for the sun to rise for the last time. Micah just stares into the black sky smoking cigarette after cigarette. The camera shows Cold sitting next to him.
MICAH
I wish it could be different you know. I wish I could have been born a different way, raised a different way, thought a different way. But I don’t know any other way, I don’t know what it means to be normal, so this is normal to me. This is Micah sitting here waiting to see his last sunset, waiting to be special, waiting to breathe. Waiting to like himself. Today is my last day, good morning sun, good night Detroit.
The sun is rising in the distance and it is beautiful.
COLD
It’s Ok. You can feel however you want. That is the beauty of life, no one can control how you feel, not even you. No one can touch that, you can hide it, jump through hoops and be a clown in front of everyone, but no one can touch it, it’s yours.
Micah lays his head back on the wall and just stares up into his last sunrise.
FADE OUT.
EXT. ELLIS’ TENT - NIGHT
Micah (19), Ellis, Ollie, and Jim are all lying in a tent in Ellis’ backyard. There is a flashlight on in the tent to give light to the room. None of the boys are sleeping, they are just talking and laying in the tent in between bottles and bottles of booze.
JIMMY
I will never drink anything cinnamon again. How the heck do they get all that crystal inside of the bottle.
OLLIE
The same way they get the filling inside a Twinkie, or the peanut butter inside of the Reese. They feed the filling to it. The chocolate eats the peanut butter and gets fat.
ELLIS
Shut up. Listen!
From the corner of the tent, Micah has fallen asleep and is mumbling something.
MICAH
Cover me in ashes. Cover me in ashes. Cover me in ashes. I’ll still be here.
OLLIE
What the crap is he saying.
ELLIS
Shut up Ollie.
Ellis looks concerned about Micah.
ELLIS
We should wake him up.
JIMMY
No way, lets mess with him. Micah, where are you right now.
MICAH
Outside. It’s dark.
JIMMY
Who else is there with you?
MICAH
Cold.
JIMMY
OK, but who else is with you?
ELLIS
Cold is a person, or something, I don’t know, lets wake him up.
JIMMY
Micah what is Cold doing.
MICAH
He’s digging. A big hole. Under a big tree.
JIMMY
Why?
Micah does not respond.
JIMMY
Why?
CUT TO:
EXT. A FIELD - NIGHT
Cold is digging a large hole in the ground underneath a huge willow tree. Micah is hanging from that tree from his feet upside down a few feet form a campfire. Cold continues to dig as Micah struggles to get free from the rope. Cold has no expression on his face at all and does not seem to mind the struggle. After the hole has been dug, Cold approaches Micah and stoops down to look at him in his eyes.
COLD
Do you know who you came from Micah?
Micah just stares.
COLD
You came from this.
Cold takes a handful of ash and spreads it over Micah’s face.
COLD
You came from ashes. You came from what’s left of what was here before. Just matter, just flesh. You know where I came from Micah? I came from God. I am but a bastard just like you. You need to learn not to feel it, not to feel the longing, not to feel hope. Because hope does not exist, it’s fake, there is no way out for you, and daddy isn’t coming home. When you learn not to feel, you learn true freedom. You can do anything. There will be no limitations in this world or the next to who you can be, because your free, really free, just like me. And all you have to do is get rid of this.
Cold reaches into Micah’s chest and removes his heart. Micah looks at the heart in shock. Cold stands and throws the heart into the hole in the ground and starts piling the ash on top of it.
BACK TO:
EXT. ELLIS’ TENT - NIGHT
The scene flashes back and Ellis, Ollie, and Jimmy are restraining Micah who is grasping at his chest in horrible pain. They fight him for a moment, then Micah passes out from the pain and lays silent and at peace in Ellis’ lap.
FADE OUT.
EXT. BASEBALL FIELD - DAY
Micah (7) is playing second base in the field of his T-ball game. Micah is waiting for the hitter to hit the ball to him, when internal dialogue kicks in.
MICAH 7
Come on stupid. Hit me the ball. Hit me the ball. What if I miss it in front of everyone. Crap, what if I miss? I can’t miss, I won’t miss. Come on, hit the ball you little punk. Ow (Micah grabs his abdomen). Ow! No, not now, not here. You just calm down you little turd. You just settle down now and I’ll take care of you later. Ow!
Micah falls to his knees doubled over in pain holding his abdomen. The ball is hit his way and he can only watch it roll right by him as the rest of his team grumbles and laughs at him.
CUT TO:
INT. MAXINE’S CAR - DAY
Micah is laying in the back of Maxine’s van holding his stomach and writhing in pain.
MICAH 7
Mommy, when are we going to be home?
MAXINE
In just a minute Micah, give me 5 minutes.
MICAH 7
Alright.
Micah starts rocking back and forth on the seat of the van, trying his very best not to wreck his baseball pants. Tears are streaming down his face.
MICAH 7
How much longer mom?
MAXINE
4 minutes.
CUT TO:
EXT. MAXINE’S HOUSE - DAY
The van pulls up and Micah jumps out right as it comes to a stop and runs to the front door as fast as he can. He twists and rattles the door knob, begging for it to be unlocked. Maxine’s walks up and unlocks the door sending Micah tearing through the hallway.
CUT TO:
INT. MAXINE’S HOUSE - DAY
Micah is running through the house to the bathroom, begging for his body, then God to hold him out. He gets to the bathroom door and opens it as he is wrestling with his pants belt. The belt is winning this match and at the height of his struggle, he losses his strength and losses his bowels.

MICAH 7
Come on Micah, just a minute, just a minute, God help me, make it stop!(Falling to the floor) No!
Micah just kneels there and weeps over the toilet seat for a moment.
MICAH 7
Stupid!
The scene closes when Micah throws his soiled pants into the toilet.
FADE OUT.
EXT. ELLIS’ CAR - DAY
Ellis and Micah are driving down a pretty busy street. The car is quiet except for the music. Micah is staring out the passenger seat window looking at the faces of all of the people he sees as he passes. Micah stares as if he is looking into the soul of the person his focus is on. He looks to his right and sees an old man driving alone.
FADE TO:
INT. OLD MAN’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
The old man is wearing his pajamas and is kneeling at the foot of his bed, looking up at the ceiling, praying to God or his understanding of God. He gets up to his feet, then sits down on his bed and looks over to the picture of his dead wife and children on the night stand. He lays down having never broken his gaze from them. He then lies there staring at the picture, then pulls the chain and the lights go out.
BACK TO:
EXT. ELLIS’ CAR - DAY
Micah still staring out the window, catches the eye of a little boy playing with a toy train in the back seat of his car. His parents are sitting in the front seat just staring ahead at the cars in front of them. The little boy looks at him and his face changes and flashes with the five year old Micah’s face. The little boy looks at Micah and smiles, then makes a funny face.
FADE TO:
INT. CHILD’S ROOM - DAY
The little boy is sitting on the floor playing with his wrestling men. One of the men is losing really bad to the other. The boy’s father throws open the door with a letter in his hands. The father is the Micah’s father as he sees him.
BOY’S FATHER
You know who this is from?
BOY
No?
BOY’S FATHER
This is from your school.
As the father says this he kicks the little boy in the ribs. This sends the little boy sliding to the base of his bed doubled over in agony. The boy tries and fails to stand to his feet. The father reaches down and slaps the little boy across the face.
BOY’S FATHER
You think we work so hard to give you a roof and clothes and an education to see you get D’s on your report card?
The boy rises to his feet looking directly at his father with tears in his eyes. The camera focuses through the boys blurry eyes looking up at his father. Then the camera focuses back and forth as the father slaps the child over and over again. The boy will not cry and he will not stay on the floor, he will stand his ground. He glances over and focuses on a yellow feather sitting on the floor next to the heat register.
FADE OUT.
INT. OLLIE’S VAN - DAY
Micah, Ellis, and Ollie, sit in Ollie’s car smoking cigarettes and talking. Micah is in the passenger seat leaning almost all the way back and staring up through the sunroof at a plane passing over the top of them. He looks at the plane as if the passengers were crazy, shakes his head, then the camera goes to Ellis who is driving Ollie’s car. Ellis is looking out the side window at a pretty girl, walking her dog down the sidewalk, he smiles with a look of acknowledgement at the beautiful girl. The camera goes to Ollie who is looking out the back window at a homeless guy lying next to some dumpsters drinking liquor. Ollie has a look of disgust on his face as if this bum was hurting him in some way.
MICAH
Ollie, are you gay?
OLLIE
What? Shut up, no!
MICAH
That’s good.
MICAH
You guys ready?
ELLIS
Yeah.
OLLIE
Let’s do it.
Both Ellis and Micah look back at Ollie with a look of shock. As they cannot believe what just came out of Ollie’s mouth.
ELLIS
Alright Ton Loc, let’s do it.
OLLIE
Shut up.
The three of them sit up straight and put on three ski masks and zip up their coats and hop out of the car then walk to the door of the convenience store.
CUT TO:
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
Micah swings open the door and the three of them walk through as if they had all of the confidence in the world, accept for Ollie, who has his lips pushed out of the ski mask oddly far, looking as if he were going to kill someone. They are making a b-line for and area just beside the cash register. The clerk looks at the three of them with real caution in his eyes as he reaches under the counter. The three of them walk over to the coffee machine, their destination and begin pouring the coffee from the cappicino machine then slam them down on the counter and look directly into the clerks eyes and wait. The clerk is looking as if he saw a ghost and opens the register and puts his hands on the twenties. As he pulls out a wad of them, he is interrupted by Micah, who slams down a dollar in quarters on the counter.
MICAH
How you doing today?
CLERK 2
Ok, and you?
MICAH
Not bad, some weather we have here huh?
CLERK 2
Yeah, I thought you were coming into rob, me.
Clerk 2 quickly shows his gun that was in his hand.
ELLIS
Wow. That’s not a toy, be careful.
OLLIE
Can I hold it?
CLERK 2
No buddy, have a nice day guys.
The clerk takes the money and puts it into the cash register as the other two pay as well. Ellis quietly takes his hand and takes the loose change out of the little cup on the counter, he takes it and puts it into his pocket. After the deal has been done, Micah stares into the eyes of the clerk who stares back, still with great caution, not knowing what to say. After several moments, Micah winks at the clerk, then walks away with a grin. They leave the store and get back into Ollie’s van.
FADE OUT.

This Is My Suicide Letter, Part 7

EXT. ELLIS’S FRONT YARD - NIGHT
The three of the boys are lying down on the grass in front of Ellis’s house, looking at the stars.
MICAH
Ollie, what happened inside you when you tried to hang yourself.
OLLIE
I don’t remember that much, I was only 7. I just remember thinking it was a good idea, I wasn’t happy. Mom put me in counseling for a few years and that’s about it. Cured.
MICAH
Cured. Right.
ELLIS
Too bad you used twine, ripped up your stupid neck.
OLLIE
I don’t know, I just wanted to be somewhere else. Somewhere not here. I’m going to get in my rocket.
ELLIS
You gotta love Ollie. When we were young, we were in this department store and there were these little hand held video games that I wanted so bad, but my mom said no, right, so Ollie eggs me on and convinces me to just take them. So I did, I put them in my fanny pack, zipped it up and walked toward the door, all the while, Ollie had nothing, so I eluded the little magnetic field you have to walk through and when I got past it, they busted me. They took me back to this little room, called my mom over the loud speaker and reamed me out for stealing their stuff, all the while that little punk of a brother of mine sat there with this stupid grin as they commended him for not going along with me, and for standing his ground not to steal, and the stupid games were half for him.
MICAH
Weasel.
ELLIS
Ollie is a different kid, something really deep underlying in there, beneath the goofy façade.
MICAH
Nice vocabulary.

Ollie fires his rocket into the air as Micah and Ellis watch it fly out to the left, burn out, then fall to the ground.
ELLIS
Figures.
OLLIE
Crap!
Micah and Ellis get up, and walk over to their rockets, light the fuses and step back. Their rockets take off straight up into the air burning yellow as the camera follows their trail into the sky.
FADE TO:

INT. MICAH’S ROOM - NIGHT
The camera comes in from Micah’s (19) eyes as he is sitting on the floor next to his bed. The camera continues to zoom out as we see more and more of Micah’s body in the picture. As more of him becomes visible, we see that he is holding a gun in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other. He is staring out into a trance and we can see the suicide letter sitting next to him on the floor. The camera zooms quickly into Micah’s eyes to black.
FADE TO:
EXT. MICAH’S CAR - NIGHT
The scene fades in from black as Micah is sitting in his car. For a moment he just sits and hesitates slowly rocking back and forth in his seat. Micah is in a real trance now, seemingly preparing himself mentally for something huge. The music plays as Micah rocks back and forth quietly yet becoming more intense as the scene goes on. Micah looks down and we see the gun in his hand in his lap. Micah picks up the gun and pushes a full clip into the handle. On the seat of the passenger side, there is a cell phone, Micah picks it up and dials 911 and puts the phone up to his ear. At this all sound except for the music is cut. We see Micah mouthing something into the phone.
MICAH
(Silently) Come to Elm Street. Someone is going to die.
Micah closes the phone and drops it into his lap. He begins rocking faster and mouthing something as he does.
MICAH
(Silently) No more tears. No more tears. No more tears. No more tears. No more tears. No more tears.
Micah throws the door open and the camera changes to the outside of the car as he flings open the door and quickly steps out.
EXT. OUTSIDE JIM COURD’S HOUSE - NIGHT
He looks up into the sky to see the moon for the last time. He looks over to the neighborhood and focuses on the falling leaves of a tree for the last time. His eyes then go to the open window of the house he is walking to and he sees his father throwing his grandson up and down into the air and his wife and children laughing as they enjoy their lives. Micah takes a deep breathe without hesitation or remorse begins walking up the driveway. He gets to the door and focuses on the welcome mat on the ground below his feet, he then uses the door’s knocker to announce his arrival. He waits for a moment as he hears laughing cutting through the music as his father breaks from the grandchild to answer the door. The door opens and there is Micah and his father staring face to face for the first time looking strikingly similar. They look intently into each others eyes, Jim’s face is that of bewilderment, and fascination, and wonder. Micah’s is one of pure hate and determination. Micah’s face begins to quiver a little, his eyes wide and piercing. For a moment the silence gets awkward and Jim begins to nod a little as if he knows something is going to happen. At this nod the music cuts completely as Micah raises his gun from his side and opens fire. The only sound we hear is the sound of the clicking of the gun, no shots, no screaming, no music.
INT. JIM COURD’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Micah unloads the entire clip into the chest of his father as his family comes running and screaming from the living room to find Jim who is lying on the floor looking up with the same look of bewilderment he had the whole time, their eyes meet again and the feelings change. Jim looks deeper into Micah and realizes who it is, and with a slight grin, he nods and goes limp. Micah unlatches the clip and lets it fall to the chest of his father. He turns his attention to Jim’s family and looks at them with a slight hint of shame and slightly jealous of their love. Micah then turns around and sees the lights from the cop cars out the window. He opens the door of the house and raises his gun into the air. He walks into the street where the cops are kneeling and shouting from behind their cars. The music picks back up, but only the music. He is standing about 100 feet from the cops who are ready to fire their weapons. He looks at the family kneeling and crying over Jim Courd, then looks back at the sky. Micah mouths No more tears for the last time then raises his unloaded gun at the policemen and pulls the trigger and gets nothing but a click of empty gun. The cops open fire freely and fill Micah’s body with bullets from all over the place. Micah reels back and falls to the ground and lays down on his back looking up. The camera shoots from Micah’s eyes out to the sky where he sees two cops come walking up above him. They look down as one of the cops picks up the gun and shows the other that is was not loaded. The two cops just look down at Micah who is dying fast with regret and pain. Micah’s eyes begin to blur and a hint of red blood floods in from one eye. The scene slows down as Micah looks up and watches as one of the officers drops a yellow rose onto his chest. The camera shows the rose hit his chest, bounce once then settle. Back to Micah’s eyes we see them close and the scene fade to black.
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. PEOPLE MOVER - DAY
The camera zooms out from Micah’s eyes. Music begins and we see Micah leaning against the window of a large People Mover car, to the viewer it is obvious that he is leaving and isn’t really planning on coming back home. His suicide letter is on his lap, a pen in his hand.
MICAH
(Narrated) Maybe Lonliness is just a habit, or maybe it was like the hick-ups, I could scare it out of me, or hold my breath for a long time, that would certainly do it. But no matter how hard I tried; the beast keeps chasing me, so I embrace it. I love it. It gives me reason to hate you, to make it me against the world. It is a cruel siege that sucks the pride out of being human, and leaves you feeling invisible from life and from love.
The camera just focuses on the side of Micah’s face and the scenes of cars dashing by on the other side of a country freeway. As we drive we see people passing by Micah on the bus, each looking downcast and sorrowful. First a mother comes walking wearily past Micah holding her child who is dirty and nonresponsive. To the immediate left of Micah is a homeless man sitting on the seat with a bottle of booze in his hands, drinking and looking straight down at his lap at the bottle that he has come to know as his friend. To the front right of Micah we see a man sitting and eating dinner alone, not really paying attention to his food, just kind of eating to survive. Micah notices the solemn faces and hearts and just lays his head back down on the window.
FADE TO:
EXT. MICAH’S BACKYARD CLUBHOUSE - DAY
Micah (12), Vern, Ellis, and Ollie sit in the club house staring at each other with nervous faces. Micah holds a knife in his hands and looks at the faces of the other three boys sitting, dreading what is to come next.
MICAH 12
Alright. Its just blood right?
VERN
Come on Micah, we don’t have to do this.
Micah scowls up at Vern.
MICAH 12
Yes we do. This is everything, this means we are brothers and no one can take that from us. You die, I die first.
Micah takes the knife and runs a neat and surprisingly straight line down the front of his hand, the blood immediately comes to the surface as he sits motionless except for the slight grimace of pain on his face. He hands the knife off to Ellis.
ELLIS
I can do this. Micah man, why do you make us do this stuff, why can’t we just shake hands and call it friendship.
Ellis, without hesitation takes the knife and runs it down his hand, leaving a line of blood behind. He then hands the knife to Vern.
VERN
Brothers for life.
Vern cuts his hand with a slight moan and hands the knife to Ollie who shakes his head in disapproval.
OLLIE
I have to do it now?
Ollie takes the knife and stabs himself quickly in the hand and draws blood. He drops the knife on the floor and thrusts out his bloody hand at Micah. Micah takes his hand and grasps Ollie’s tightly as the blood of both of them drips from their hands. Micah then turns to Ellis and they all follow suit and shake each others bloody hands. After the ceremony is over, Micah takes his hand into the air and drops it onto Ollie’s face rubbing blood all over his cheek. Ollie shrieks and comes back at him with his own. Ellis and Vern get involved and soon they are wrestling in a pile on the floor smearing and throwing blood all over each other.
FADE IN:
EXT. MICAH’S BACKYARD CLUBHOUSE - NIGHT
The scene fades in and finds Micah sleeping on the floor in the silent night with Vern, Ollie, and Ellis, still smattered with dried blood, lying around him on the floor. Micah’s eyes pop open and he looks around the room at his friends sleeping, he gets up and walks out of the clubhouse into the night. He just stands there looking up at the clear night sky at the stars, he holds the stair for a few moments then whispers.
MICAH 12
Where are you? Where are you?
FADE OUT.
EXT. HORSE ISLAND - NIGHT
Micah (19) and Ollie are sitting under the bridge fishing.
OLLIE
When we caught those birds today. Do you do that kind of stuff when you are alone? I kinda get that impression. Ellis said he saw you run up to some girl at the mall and kiss her then run away.
MICAH
Yeah, I guess. Jonesing. From that movie Mr. Jones, he was a crazy man, that didn’t care what other people thought or said about him. He would do that. He would go up to some girl that he thought was hot and just kiss her in front of her boyfriend, then just run.
OLLIE
Dude that’s sweet.
MICAH
This might sound weird, but I like to live as if someone were watching me all the time, with like movie theme music and stuff. I never really feel alone, if I laugh I do as if someone is watching, if I cry, I try to look cool because someone is watching, (They look at him as if he were weird) hey man, its all I got.
OLLIE
I live to get my dads attention. I guess there isn’t anything that I want more than for him to be proud of me.
MICAH
Dude your gay.
OLLIE
When he is around, I’m happy.
MICAH
I used to be happy. When we were little, me and Vern used to run away from his house at night and stay out until morning, when his parents would notice and come running to find us. We were always in the same place, in the woods by his house, but we would stay out until daylight, then come home. I just remember the feeling I got when Vern’s mom would grab us and hug us. She was so relieved that we were standing in front of her. I remember that. Sometimes I think that I could go right back into those woods for weeks and no one would come looking.
Micah lays his head back onto the wall.
FADE TO:
EXT. HORSE ISLAND - DAY
Ollie wakes up first in the early morning, he is cold and wet from the morning dew. He sits up and looks around at the morning sky, it is beautiful. He pushes Micah to wake him. Micah sits up and looks with Ollie at the beautiful sky that seems to be shining at them.
MICAH
We going to work today?
OLLIE
I think I could staying here all day.
MICAH
Me too.
OLLIE
Does my breath stink?
Ollie leans over to a repulsed Micah.
MICAH
You could repaint this wall man.
OLLIE
I gotta go, the old lady’s gonna wonder where I went all night. You gonna be with Cam later?
MICAH
No, we broke up.
OLLIE
Really? Why?
MICAH
I don’t know, it took her getting pregnant for us to realize we didn’t really like each other.
OLLIE
What are you going to do?
MICAH
Be a good dad, no kid needs to see their parents fighting all the time, so this way we can give the baby the best of both of us.
OLLIE
Yeah... well I gotta go, you leavin?
MICAH
No I think I’ll just hang out here for a while.
OLLIE
Alright, see at home later then.
MICAH
Yeah.
Ollie walks off leaving Micah there by himself. Once Ollie is gone, Micah pulls out a marker and begins carving into the wall behind him. He carves the words, People On Crosses.
CUT TO:
INT. MAXINE’S CAR - DAY
In the car is Mathew, Micah (12), and Maxine.
MICAH
Do we have to go see grandpa?
MAXINE
You know your grandfather is looking forward to seeing you.
MICAH
He is not, I have never even talked to him, he doesn’t even send me Christmas presents.
MAXINE
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
MICAH
He sends them to Mathew.
MATHEW
That’s because mom married my dad.
MAXINE
No, that isn’t why Mathew. Micah, just don’t give me a hard time this weekend OK. Its only one weekend and you will do just fine.
Micah just looks at his mom.
CUT TO:
INT. EDWARDS KITCHEN - NIGHT
Micah’s grandfather is setting the table for dinner as his wife gets the food ready for the meal. On the wall of the kitchen is a picture of Grandpa with a priest suit on.
GRANDPA’S WIFE
Dinners ready, did you boy’s wash up?
MATHEW
Yes Grandma.
The family sits down to eat dinner but as everyone takes there seats, Ed directs everyone to his preassigned seats and everyone finds a place at the table but Micah.
GRANDPA’S WIFE
Ed, you forgot to set Micah a seat.
ED
I didn’t forget anything.
Ed’s wife sets one more place at the table.
ED
So Maxine, how are things going with the church?
MAXINE
Oh just great. I have been asked to sing at the regional camp meeting next month. The skits have been going great as well.
GRANDPA’S WIFE
Well that is just great, but how do you have the time for all of that.
MAXINE
Oh my boy’s come with me.
GRANDPA’S WIFE
Do you think that they are happy with going to all of those places with you all the time?
MAXINE
Well, I’m not sure, but I can’t afford a baby sitter and the Lord’s work must be done now doesn’t it. I bought them a camper to play in.
ED
Now who’s fault is that? If you wouldn’t have spread your legs to everyone then you wouldn’t have this bastard over here to worry about. It’s bad enough you had him, but no you just had to keep him. (He chuckles)
Micah looks at his mother who is visibly appalled at the comments from her father.
MAXINE
Dad this is the last time you will see me and my boys.
Maxine gathers the boys and grabs her things and they leave.
CUT TO:
INT. MAXINE’S CAR - NIGHT
MICAH 12
Mom?
MAXINE
I’m sorry sweetie. You don’t have to see them anymore.
She does not face Micah, but wipes away some tears while pretending to fix her hair, not letting Micah in on her pain.
FADE OUT.
INT. ELLIS AND OLLIE’S HOUSE (BATHROOM) - DAY
The camera zooms in from the hallway into the bathroom that has the door half open. As the camera approaches, we hear Ollie writhing in pain.
OLLIE
Oh! Come on! Oh my God, help me! Ah!
The screaming becomes louder and more intense as the camera shows Ollie standing in front of the toilet trying to urinate. Ollie continues screaming until he sees a couple of drops of blood fall into the toilet. Ollie begins to panic.
OLLIE
Ellis! Ellis!
Ollie concentrates on urinating and more and more blood comes pouring out. He writhes and moans as the blood begins to flow freely. Ellis comes to the door.
ELLIS
What Ollie?
OLLIE
Something is wrong with me, look!
ELLIS
I’m not looking at your wiener man.
OLLIE
Ellis, shut up and look. Something’s wrong with me. I think I have a disease or something.
Ollie moans louder as a large stone drops into the toilet.
OLLIE
Did you see that?
ELLIS
Yeah, what the hell is it?
OLLIE
I don’t know, take me to the hospital.
CUT TO:
INT. ELLIS AND OLLIE’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Ollie, Ellis, and Micah (19) are sitting in the living room of Ellis’ parents house. They look in horror as Ollie explains to them that the problem was a kidney stone.
OLLIE
The doctor said that the stones were too big to pass. I was lucky to not have the one lodged in there as it is. They said that there are more. They have to put a stint inside of my penis and run it up to my kidneys.
The two listeners begin to writhe in their seats as they listen.
OLLIE
Then they have to hook me up to some electric shock machine and shock me while something punches me in the kidneys.
MICAH
What will happen if you just leave them?
OLLIE
I’ll die in a couple of years.
ELLIS
How are you going to pay for all of this stuff.
OLLIE
I don’t know.
ELLIS
The procedure seems pretty easy to me, why don’t we try to do it ourselves. They already put the stint in?
OLLIE
Yeah.
OLLIE
Ollie, you down?
OLLIE
We can try.
Micah and Ellis look at each other as this is an opportunity for a lot of fun.
CUT TO:
INT. ELLIS’S ROOM
Micah, Ellis, and Ollie are in Ellis’ room. Ollie is lying on the floor with his hand dipped into a deep well tray of water.
OLLIE
You guys know what you are doing, right?
ELLIS
Yeah, I looked it up online.
OLLIE
What site?
ELLIS
Don’t worry about it, it knows everything.
ELLIS
Micah you got the battery?
MICAH
Yeah, Hang on!
Micah enters the room with a large car battery in his hands and some wire and sets it down next to Ollie, who is lying on his back. Micah strings the wire around, both the positive and negative posts on the battery and dips the other end into the water. Ollie takes his hand out just before the wire touches the water.
ELLIS
Ollie, put your hand in the water.
OLLIE
No man.
ELLIS
Ollie, it won’t hurt, it will just feel weird for a minute, like you can’t move, but it doesn’t hurt.
Ollie looks at Ellis with uncertainty and plops his hand down into the water. The shock hurts, definitely and Ollie begins to yelp, not scream because he can’t. Micah and Ellis look at each other and nod, then begin punching Ollie in the kidneys.
FADE IN:
INT. THE BACK OF A UHAUL - NIGHT
Micah (19) and Ollie are in the back of a Uhaul truck. Micah is buckling himself and strapping himself onto the side of the truck wall with a strap. Ollie is standing in the middle of the truck bed wearing a football helmet.
MICAH
Alright Ollie. I think this will work. Now just remember to let your body hit the walls, and not your hands and arms.
OLLIE
Man! Alright go.
Micah knocks on the wall of the Uhaul to tell Ellis they are ready.
MICAH
Lets go.
The truck starts very quickly and Ollie is thrown running into the back door of the Uhaul slamming into it with his body and not his hands. The truck levels off and Ollie gets his balance just in time for Ellis to hit the brakes and send Ollie running very fast across the truck slamming him into the front wall of the truck. This blast is very hard and Ollie yells, then crumbles to the ground in pain. The truck speeds off immediately and Ollie is sent rolling on the floor toward the back door again. The camera changes to the side of the Uhaul and shows the truck speeding up and slowing down approaching a very large hill.
FADE IN:
INT. ELLIS PARENTS HOUSE - NIGHT
The scene fades as we see Ollie lying in his room with his body broken in casts.
FADE TO BLACK.

This Is My Suicide Letter, Part 6

EXT. IN MICAH’S CAR - DAY
The camera comes into the car from the back window He looks up to see a man staring in on him through his back window. The music starts here. Micah sits up and stretches and rubs his eyes, and straightens his clothes. He opens the door and falls out into the world. He gets up and the scene is in black and white, as he walks down the little park street to the main street. What he sees when he gets to the main street and the scene changes to color is a very busy street with a lot of commotion, of the people doing their daily business. Micah starts walking, the camera shows Cold walking right behind him. As he walks he sees all of the people going about their business with there own versions of Cold walking with them, effecting them, touching them. To the right he sees two cars in the road that had an accident. The two drivers are out of their cars arguing casually. One of the men had their own version of Cold standing behind him. He puts his hand on the driver and he is sent into rage and begins attacking the other driver. Micah looks to his right and just focuses on all of the people walking past him with all of the Colds following right behind. All doing different things. One woman is talking on the phone and crying, one man is sitting on the curb, homeless, playing guitar with his Cold sitting, facing him on the ground. Micah does not respond, he just looks back and expectantly sees Cold following him. He continues walking and sees a little boy riding his bike with a sad look on his face and his backpack strapped on. His Cold is riding on the pegs on the boys bike. They pass with no expression from Micah, Micah is a stone. Standing in the middle of the street is a drunk, homeless man staggering around in the middle of the street waiving a cane around shouting indecipherable words at no one. This man has several Colds standing with him silently. Micah passes closely by and as he does, the homeless drunk locks eyes with him. In a very faint, weary voice, the man whispers.
HOMELESS DRUNK
Help Me.
Micah passes by not sharing a moment with this man. Micah reaches his destination, and opens the door and walks in.
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL - DAY
Micah (age 7) walks through the double doors of the school building. He takes his time walking down the hallway, almost as if he dreads every step he is taking. He is wearing a red coat and a back pack tightly secured around his back. He wears a knitted stocking snow hat on his head and moon boots. The camera starts on him from close up and pans back until it is quite far away from him. Micah turns the corner of the hall way and the camera picks back up on him from the back, still far away, then zooms quickly on him as he walks through the door of the school office. The secretary looks at him with disgust and points at the chair in front of the desk. Micah waits a couple minutes, and during that time, he pulls out a pad of paper and a pen and begins writing. After a minute or two the camera shows the paper. Micah is taking the initiative and has begun his expected sentences. The paper reads. I will not throw snow. I will not cut in line. I will not say bad words. I will not slash tires. The principle walks into the room.
PRINCIPLE
Come on in Micah.
Micah walks with the principle through the doors that lead to his office.
PRINCIPLE
Come on in, sit down.
They both sit.
PRINCIPLE
This is the ninth time you have been late for school, Micah. Do you remember what I said we had to do if you were late again?
Micah speaks, but does not lift his head.
MICAH 7
Yes.
PRINCIPLE
I have to suspend you from the school for a week. I have told you that there is no excuse for being tardy. When you are late, you waste my time and your teachers time, and believe me, their time is far more valuable than that of a seven year old. Now I have to call your dad to pick you up. There is a very good reason that we have that little bell out there that rings when it’s time to start learning.
Micah shoots a slightly defiant look at the principle, yet he is still sad. He answers in a whisper.
MICAH 7
I don’t have a dad.
PRINCIPLE
Of course you have a dad, or you wouldn’t be here. You would do well young man to watch your mouth. I’ve been the principle here now for 20 years and I have seen kids like you, you think you know everything, you think that the adults...don’t understand your snide little remarks. But let me tell you something, we do, we all do. So in my presence you will watch that mouth of yours.
Micah looks down and puckers out his lips and stares down at them in defiance. The principle does not see because he is looking for Micah’s fathers work number in his file. He looks down and the camera goes with him to the page in front of him.He looks into the file for a moment then looks up at Micah who is sitting quietly staring at his boots. He then looks back down at the file and begins dialing.
PRINCIPLE
Ms. McBain, Ms. Maxine McBain?
MAXINE
Yeah. Hang on a second.
There is the sound of at least a thousand kids screaming in the background.
PRINCIPLE
Micah, can she come and pick you up?
MICAH 7
Nope.
PRINCIPLE
Why not?
MICAH 7
She runs a day care.
PRINCIPLE
Right.
The principle just hangs up the phone and sighs. He starts righting on a pink slip and hands it to Micah.
PRINCIPLE
Micah, you start walking home now. I will see you again, on time, in a week. You tell your mother to call me when you get home.
Micah gets up, and takes his time walking out of the office.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET ON THE WAY HOME - DAY
Micah exits the building and starts walking to the right and stands in front of a window where he has friends looking outside at him. He smiles at the kids and turns around and gives them a full moon. He takes off.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET ON THE WAY HOME - DAY
Micah is walking down the snow covered street with a pink slip in his hand. The streets are silent, it is the middle of the day and he has no intention of going home.
CUT TO:
EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND - DAY
Micah (12) walks onto the school yard and in the distance he sees a crowd of kids yelling and screaming at the center of the pile. Micah speeds up his pace and looks closer into the pile until he can make out the figure lying bloody in the center. It is his brother Mathew. There is a kid standing over him violently taunting him holding a skateboard that he has obviously used to hit Mathew. Micah runs up and picks up an aluminum baseball bat off the ground, pushes through the pile and takes a swing at the bully. The bat is a direct hit to his head and his body crumbles to the ground, knocked out. The crowd just stands there silent and shocked as Micah helps his brother to his feet and begins walking off the playground home.
FADE OUT.
INT. MUSIC HALL - NIGHT
Micah and his band are on stage performing their set. The crowd is large and hyped up as the band plays. Micah glances into the crowd to see that pretty blonde from the grocery store again, he stares for a moment as she smiles at him, then glances away to something else. Micah is doing fine for now, he is excited and playing his heart out. He lifts his head to look into the audience, we do not get to see what he saw, but what he saw catches his eye, his gaze. The music plays on for a minute as he stares, he is becoming downcast. The music begins to blur as he has missed all of his queues. The rest of the band are looking at him in bewilderment, wondering what is going on. The music blurs more and more until it is undecipherable. Micah remains hypnotized. Micah’s face becomes pale, and sad. He drops the microphone and begins his walk off stage and out of the bar.
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
Micah throws the door open and walks out of the bar onto the dark streets. He is walking feverishly picking up pace quickly. The night is dark, the wind is blowing through him as he quickens his steps. His walk becomes a jog, then a run as the scene intensifies. Ellis is behind him but not chasing him.
ELLIS
Micah! Micah!
He walks back into the bar to play the rest of the set without Micah. Micah runs past some people on their way to the bar slamming into one of them as he passes. He keeps running until he reaches his back door, he opens the door and runs up the stairs leaving the door open. He runs up the stairs and through the hallway to the door of his flat. He opens the door, that is unlocked and runs to his bedroom.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. MICAH’S BED ROOM - NIGHT
Micah is sitting on the bed that is surrounded by alcohol bottles and beer cans. Their are more paintings in the room to focus on. In the cage, the iguana is dead. He sits writing on a notebook, the final entry in his suicide journal. The camera focuses on the journal as he writes, he is writing over the entry before for a half a page to the clean paper, he is too drunk to see. He writes: “Cover me in ashes and abandon me in the cold, I’ll still be here I’ll still exist. This is it. This is my suicide letter.” Micah sets the pen and paper down on the bed and starts walking out of the flat, down the stairs, and out the door to the street.
FADE OUT.
INT. SCHOOL CHAPEL - DAY
The chapel is a quarter full of people. Micah is sitting next to Ellis in the middle of the row about halfway back from the alter. The students are in dress clothes and dresses with ties. They are listening as the preacher preaches.
CHAPEL PREACHER
When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. Jesus said, it is finished, the debt was paid, the war is over. What does that mean for us? It means that we have been offered eternal life, if we just accept it. Jesus did all of the work for us on that cross that Friday night. It means that He loved us so much that He gave us His life to save ours, a perfect life, full of laughter, full of love: He gave it for us, filthy beggars, full of hatred and stuck chained down in the dark. All we have to do is accept this gift, come to the alter and ask God into your life and to forgive you of your sins.
The church praise band begins playing softly.
CHAPEL PREACHER
Come. Come.
Most of the room begins getting up and walking down to the alter. The seats begin to thin out around Micah, but Micah isn’t moving and neither is Ellis. Ollie is going up. They sit sterile staring at all of the people, some crying walking and bowing down in front of the alter as the music plays on and on. After the alter rush has finished and the preacher is praying with the students, a teacher comes over to Micah and sits down next to him.
TEACHER
Micah, don’t you want to meet Jesus?
MICAH
No thanks.
TEACHER
I watch you everyday, come to school, act tough, get in trouble, and lead others into it. God wants you Micah. You can make a real difference for God if you would just let Him have control. You are a natural leader, so many people follow you. You have no idea the lives you could change if you would just let God have control. Do you even know what it means to let God have control of you.
MICAH
I have a pretty good idea.
TEACHER
How do you see it Micah? Do you even believe in God?
MICAH
Oh I believe in God. I see that everything that God has had control over in my life is crap. From my family to this school.
TEACHER
Micah, watch your mouth in the chapel. Could it be that everything you think God has done to you is your own fault, that maybe, just maybe you haven’t given God control?
MICAH
Sure, if being born into this world with no father, a poor mother, and no way to help the world pissing all over you is my fault.
TEACHER
I know you are suffering Micah. But there is no suffering that Jesus couldn’t heal. No holes He couldn’t fill. I can see an emptiness in you, I think you can feel it to, but it doesn’t have to be this way, you don’t have to feel this way. There is another way to live, to feel, to act that doesn’t require you feeling as though everyone is trying to take something out of you.
MICAH
What do you know about suffering? What do you know about my life or what it is to be me everyday, to walk in skin that isn’t your own, to think with a brain that has no direction, to make decisions based on things that you cannot see, but I do. Do you know what it means to be alone? I don’t think you do because you are never alone as long as you hold on the your belief that God actually cares about you, and in that I envy you, but it’s not the same for me. I don’t belong to anyone, not even myself, I am dust, I am forgotten, I am alone, and there is no faith that can heal that, no God that will feel that, No part of me that isn’t ugly, but that is not my fault.
Micah glances up to the alter as the students are crying as is Ollie and the preacher is laying his hands on the students and they are hugging each other and praying.
MICAH
I want nothing to do with that.
TEACHER
Do you know the consequences of your decision if it were to last until your death? Fire.
MICAH
Hell.
TEACHER
You don’t care? I am speaking to you about eternity, which is a lot longer than what you have seen here. You can sit here and tell me you don’t care, I don’t believe that.
MICAH
Just another day. I was born into it. The absence of God. I am more comfortable without Him anyway. Look at what He has done, the murder, the blood, that isn’t heaven, or happiness, it’s foolish.
TEACHER
The pain?
MICAH
I am numb.
TEACHER
Looks like you have made up your mind then. After chapel, I want you to go to the principles office, we are going to have to suspend you for a couple of days for your language in the chapel and talk about whether or not your presence in this school is good for the school.
Micah nods and the teacher gets up and walks up to the alter to pray for some of the students.
CUT TO:
INT. ELLIS’S ROOM - NIGHT
The scene starts with Micah’s hand writing in his suicide letter and fades through to Ellis’ Room. Micah (19), Ellis, and Ollie are sitting on the floor in Ellis’s room covered in toilet paper, and paper towel. They are building rockets made out of household items. As Ellis and Ollie work silently on their rockets,
MICAH
What you see isn’t always what is there.
The camera flashes cold in the back of the room and he instantly vanishes without Ellis and Ollie knowing.
MICAH
Your never really alone, even if it feels that way. I remember when I was young, lying in bed wrapped up in a sleeping bag, making shapes and faces out of the sponge painted walls in front of me. I had drifted off to sleep while my mother and some friends were in the living room talking.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. MICAH’S CHILDHOOD ROOM - NIGHT
Micah (age 5-7) is lying on the bed facing the wall wearing Superman pajamas, tracing out the faces on the sponge paint with his finger, slowly running his finger up and down, feeling the texture of the paint. His eyes begin to feel heavy as they slowly close. As he falls asleep a man comes walking down the hallway toward the bathroom. As he passes he looks into Micah’s bedroom, looks back at the living room, where they are still talking, and walks into Micah’s room toward him. His face flashes from Cold’s to his own several times like lightning. He walks over to Micah’s bed and zips up the sleeping bag over Micah’s head and holds him down with his hand over where Micah’s mouth would be if he could see his mouth. Micah struggles and moans as he is trying to get free. The man’s face changes again over and over as Micah struggles. The camera shows Micah struggling in hysterics inside the sleeping bag, trying to get free. The tension breaks from Micah and the bag becomes loose. Micah puts his hand through a small hole in the zipper and tears his way free. He throws the bag off of him and looks around in the dark, trying to focus his eyes to see Cold standing at the door for a moment, then he walks out. Micah jumps down from his bunk bed and hurries to the wall across the room and turns the night light on. He looks around the room and sees nothing, so he peaks his head around the corner, to the right is the living room with the lights on and commotion from dialogue coming from it, and to the left is a dark hallway with Cold standing there, then vanishes. Micah turns left toward the dark hallway to the back door, that is standing wide open.
CUT TO:
EXT. MICAH’S BACK YARD - NIGHT
Micah walks through the door to the back yard and walks across the grass to the gate where a cloud of yellow vapor rises to his face, Micah steps back from the stench, then moves forward out the front gate to the sidewalk. He hears a voice but sees no one to his right.
COLD
You can fly Micah. Everything you have ever known is wrong.
CUT TO:
EXT. OVERPASS BRIDGE - NIGHT
Micah is standing on the overpass hanging over the freeway.
COLD
Fly away Micah.
Micah grabs on to the railing and looks over, he sees cars flying around under him in the night. He looks reserved about jumping.
COLD
You will be alright. You aren’t like other kids, you are special. You can fly. You really can. Trust me.
Micah climbs up onto the railing of the over pass and looks down again. He steps back down to the ground and is shaking with fear.
MICAH 7
I can’t.
COLD
Oh, but you can. Your just like me.
Micah stands there shaking, and begins to cry, then weep and crumbles to the ground in fear. He looks up after a moment and sees Cold in a Superman suit walking backwards away from him chuckling.
BACK TO:

This Is My Suicide Letter, Part 5

INT. MICAH’S BED ROOM - NIGHT
The scene fades in to Micah sitting in a corner in his room with an almost empty bottle of Captain Morgan in his hands. The Iguana is milling around the room. The floor is hidden by the mess of clothes and garbage. The camera pans through the room and shows all of the paintings of poetry, and eyes, and pictures all over the place. The camera stops at Cold who is sitting in the other corner looking back at Micah who is staring at him.
MICAH
What’s next?
COLD
You die.
Micah just nods and smirks.
COLD
Do you really want this? Living your life in garbage, dreaming dreams that mean nothing to you? Sitting here in your own pile of pain and piss, just waiting for morning to come so you can sleep? This isn’t going to stop you know. The dreams, me, we aren’t going away.
MICAH
Wh....
COLD
Why? You know why don’t you? Yeah, you have always known can’t you see that Micah? Your an abortion, you just haven’t died yet. Your completely colorless. Mommy never wanted you did she, not after he left. Who can you turn to, God? That’s a joke now isn’t it?
MICAH
You?
COLD
(chuckles) I don’t want you either. I am a just a collector of broken parts. Someone has to clean up the mess you leave as you pass through.
MICAH
I hate you.
COLD
Yeah you do. Almost as much as you hate yourself, but not quite. Your merely dust Micah, and the wind is blowing. Here you are lying in a corner because there is a lion in the streets. But where can you hide in here? In here it is just you and me, that’s our bond, that belongs to us, and no one can ever take that from us. You need me. You rely on me to keep your eyes from all of the pain you don’t want to admit you feel. I am the rainman. Cover me in ashes and abandon me in the cold, I...
MICAH
I’ll still be here, I’ll still exist.
COLD
Yes you will won’t you?
MICAH
Go away.
COLD
Ok, I’ll leave, but sooner or later you will realize how much you need me. And you will try very hard to make sense of your filth, but you never will because you can’t admit that you are the filth in a rather pretty world. So you sleep, and I will see you tomorrow.
Cold brushes Micah’s hair from his eyes before he leaves.
COLD
Wake up Micah.
Micah lays his head back and falls asleep.
FADE OUT.
INT. RECORD STORE - DAY
Micah (19) and Ellis are in the store, attempting to steal some CDs. The are doing so by taking a small knife and cutting off the wrapper and plastic around the CD, then stuffing them in their pockets. Micah watches as a store clerk is getting suspicious of Ellis.
MICAH
Ellis. (Whispering) Ellis.
STORE WORKER
Hey kid! Kid!
Ellis looks over and as he does, Micah shoves all of the cds he has stolen back into the rack. Ellis walks gingerly over to the clerk who is knowingly looking at him.
STORE WORKER
I don’t work for this company, we are just hired help, but I have to call the police when we see someone like yourself robbing us right in front of my eyes. You have about 5 minutes after I call them to be invisible, so I suggest you go.
Ellis puts the cds in the man’s hand and takes off running out of the store. Micah come walking along behind him to the door, but stops at the clerk for a moment.
MICAH
How you doing?
STORE WORKER
Can’t complain.
MICAH
You catch that punk? I saw him taking crap, I was about to tell you.
STORE WORKER
He’ll get caught, they always do, thanks for coming to Spin Doctor, have a nice day.
MICAH
You too.
Micah exits the store and walks down the hallway toward the door. As he does there are three men in suits with manager name tags scurrying past him towards the music department. Micah grins as they run right past him. Micah exits the store and looks for Ellis who is no where to be found in the parking lot. Micah walks over to the large van that they came in and gets in the passenger seats and looks around out all of the windows. He hears a noise from inside the car.
ELLIS
Hey (whispering), hey!
Micah turns and looks to see Ellis lying oblong under all of the seats on the floor of the van. He laughs.
ELLIS
They gone?
MICAH
Yeah. Lets get out of here.
Ellis gets up and they pull out of the parking lot.
ELLIS
Holy crap, I thought I was hit. That little man warned me though.
MICAH
Yeah Guido’s a goodguy. What now?
ELLIS
Wanna go try it again at another store? I think I know a better way.
MICAH
Yeah.
CUT TO:
INT. ANOTHER RECORD STORE - DAY
Micah and Ellis are in the aisle of the other Record Store this time with their jackets over their hands. They are picking up items and putting them under their jackets in their hands. Micah picks up a CD and slides it under his jacket with the many cds that are there. The camera shows under the jacket as he takes the knife and cuts open the wrapper that holds the CD and pulls out the tube and places it into the pocket of his jacket. He then takes the empty wrapping and places it back onto the shelf. He trades glances with Ellis who is still in the CD department doing the same with his jacket. As they begin to leave Micah walks through the check out and purchases a pack of gum. As they walk out, Micah turns to Ellis.
MICAH
We did it!
ELLIS
Shut up not yet.
He looks forward to the door and sees two large men walking toward them. Their pace quickens and so do the mens, but Micah and Ellis are faster. They get to the door and the two men ask for them to hang on a minute. Micah begins to bolt but looks first to Ellis with a look as though they could easily beat these guys. Ellis is a deer caught in the headlights, he cannot and will not move.
MICAH
Ellis! Come on!
Ellis does not move an inch. He is frozen as the two men grab him and put his hands behind his back. Micah looks one more time at Ellis with the thought to run, but cannot leave his friend behind, so he walks over to the men and turns around for them to cuff him.
FADE TO:
INT. JAIL - DAY
The scene fades in as Micah is lying on the bed of one cell and Ellis in the one next to him. The cells are bare of anything including mattresses. The two lay there on stone beds looking back at one another through stone walls.
MICAH
Ellis, you all right?
ELLIS
Ain’t no jail cell big enough to hold me.
Micah laughs.
ELLIS
Who you gonna call?
MICAH
My dad. Imagine that call. Dad, I know we’ve never met, but I assure you I’m a good kid. My name as you probably know is Micah, and could you come and bail me out of jail?
A role of toilet paper come rolling across the floor in font of Micah’s cell. Time passes by and Micah sits awake on the stone bed as he listens to Ellis snore. He begins to beat a corresponding beat to Ellis’ snore on his lap as the guards open the door to Ellis’ cell.
JAIL GUARD
Ellis! Your mommies here.
The camera stays on Micah as he listens to the cell next to him.
ELLIS
Can I just stay here Mr. Occifer? I don’t think I want to see my mom right now, just tell her to come back.
JAIL GUARD
Nope, she paid, so we don’t have to feed you.
Ellis moves out from the cell, the camera still on Micah. Ellis looks around the corner into Micah’s cell.
ELLIS
I’m gonna talk to my mom and get you out of here, don’t worry.
MICAH
See you on the other side.
Ellis leaves and Micah is all alone. The day has turned to night and the cell door opens and Micah sits up.
JAIL GUARD
Dinner time. I know this tastes like crap, but you are a big boy now so you face big boy consequences.
Micah throws the guard a dirty look and rips the plate from the guard. More time elapses showing Micah pacing the cell, and sitting, laying, and even standing on the stone bed. After a minute or so of that the cell opens and Micah exits.
MICAH
I’ll see you soon.
FADE OUT.
INT. MICAH’S HOUSE - DAY
Micah is in the hallway of his house pacing back and forth down the hall way by the bathroom.
MICAH
Come on Cam!
CAMERON
Hang on it takes three minutes.
Micah continues pacing the floor for a minute or two, until the door opens and Cameron walks out holding a pregnancy test. Cameron looks happy, Micah looks scared.
MICAH
Well?
Cameron shows Micah the test that reads positive. She is happy and jumps up and down and hugs Micah. Micah is not enthused. The camera zooms into Micah’s frightened eyes.
CAMERON
I can’t wait to tell my sister.
MICAH
What about your mom?
CAMERON
She can wait till I start to show. What about yours?
MICAH
Might as well tell her now, the sooner she kicks me out the better. I can save the rent money.
CAMERON
(Still embracing Micah)I’m just so excited.
Cameron lifts up her shirt to expose her stomach and looks at it.
CAMERON
You are going to be one cute kid.
MICAH
(Squatting to face Camerons stomach) I am going to give you everything.
Micah stands back up and Cameron kisses him three times fast.

FADE TO:
EXT. IN THE TRUCK - NIGHT
The scene opens with a BB gun pointed at a car window. The trigger is pulled and the window is shattered. Micah is driving, Ellis is in the passenger seat and Ollie is in the back seat of the truck. Ellis throws the gun back at Ollie as Micah hits the gas and stalls the truck. He restarts it and they are off laughing.
ELLIS
You see that.
OLLIE
That was awesome. Lets do it again.
ELLIS
Nice driving Micah.
MICAH
Shut up.
ELLIS
Go to store, I need more cigarettes.
CUT TO:
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
The car is pulling into the parking lot. There are a lot of cars milling around the lot, and it is very well lit. Micah’s truck pulls behind another car moving slowly waiting for another car to leave so they can have their parking spot. As the car rolls slowly, Micah’s eyes fix on the eyes of a pretty blonde walking with her hands full of groceries.
ELLIS
Dude, what did your mom do when she found out your gonna be a daddy?
MICAH
She didn’t do anything, she wouldn’t even look at me.
ELLIS
I would give my mom the cry for help speech. I wanted to get caught mom, because you don’t pay any attention to me, all you care about is Ollie.
OLLIE
That’s true.
ELLIS
She would buy it. Wouldn’t even get grounded. She would even cry.
MICAH
I don’t care what my mom thinks about me anymore. Squash it.
Micah and Ellis are startled as the hear a pop and glass breaking. They turn to look at Ollie and see him sitting there with the gun pointed out the window.
ELLIS
Ollie! You idiot!
FADE TO:
EXT. IN THE TRUCK - NIGHT
OLLIE
You guys think anyone saw?
MICAH
(Shaking his head) Stupid.
Lights come up from behind them as Micah looks to the rear view. It is a cop. He turns on his lights.
MICAH
We’re hit. Ollie, hide the gun.
Ellis puts on his seat belt.
ELLIS
They might not know, it just happened.
MICAH
They know.
Micah pulls over to the side of the road and puts his wallet in his hand and rests them on top of the steering wheel. The cops come up from both sides with their guns drawn.
COP
Get out of the car all of you!
Micah and Ellis get out and Ollie stumbles on the seat belt and falls, only to see a flashlight in his face when he looks up.
MICAH
There a problem sir?
COP
Shut up, get on the ground on your face.
Micah gets down and the cops frisk the three of them and cuff them leaving them lying on the ground side by side. One of the cops moves over to the truck and begins searching it. After a minute or so, he pulls out a BB gun.
COP 2
Got it.
Micah throws a glance at Ollie who is looking at him. I put it under an apron, who would look there?
ELLIS
Ollie!
CUT TO:
INT. JAIL - NIGHT
Micah sits in the jail cell.
FADE OUT.