This Is My Suicide Letter, Part 7

EXT. ELLIS’S FRONT YARD - NIGHT
The three of the boys are lying down on the grass in front of Ellis’s house, looking at the stars.
MICAH
Ollie, what happened inside you when you tried to hang yourself.
OLLIE
I don’t remember that much, I was only 7. I just remember thinking it was a good idea, I wasn’t happy. Mom put me in counseling for a few years and that’s about it. Cured.
MICAH
Cured. Right.
ELLIS
Too bad you used twine, ripped up your stupid neck.
OLLIE
I don’t know, I just wanted to be somewhere else. Somewhere not here. I’m going to get in my rocket.
ELLIS
You gotta love Ollie. When we were young, we were in this department store and there were these little hand held video games that I wanted so bad, but my mom said no, right, so Ollie eggs me on and convinces me to just take them. So I did, I put them in my fanny pack, zipped it up and walked toward the door, all the while, Ollie had nothing, so I eluded the little magnetic field you have to walk through and when I got past it, they busted me. They took me back to this little room, called my mom over the loud speaker and reamed me out for stealing their stuff, all the while that little punk of a brother of mine sat there with this stupid grin as they commended him for not going along with me, and for standing his ground not to steal, and the stupid games were half for him.
MICAH
Weasel.
ELLIS
Ollie is a different kid, something really deep underlying in there, beneath the goofy façade.
MICAH
Nice vocabulary.

Ollie fires his rocket into the air as Micah and Ellis watch it fly out to the left, burn out, then fall to the ground.
ELLIS
Figures.
OLLIE
Crap!
Micah and Ellis get up, and walk over to their rockets, light the fuses and step back. Their rockets take off straight up into the air burning yellow as the camera follows their trail into the sky.
FADE TO:

INT. MICAH’S ROOM - NIGHT
The camera comes in from Micah’s (19) eyes as he is sitting on the floor next to his bed. The camera continues to zoom out as we see more and more of Micah’s body in the picture. As more of him becomes visible, we see that he is holding a gun in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other. He is staring out into a trance and we can see the suicide letter sitting next to him on the floor. The camera zooms quickly into Micah’s eyes to black.
FADE TO:
EXT. MICAH’S CAR - NIGHT
The scene fades in from black as Micah is sitting in his car. For a moment he just sits and hesitates slowly rocking back and forth in his seat. Micah is in a real trance now, seemingly preparing himself mentally for something huge. The music plays as Micah rocks back and forth quietly yet becoming more intense as the scene goes on. Micah looks down and we see the gun in his hand in his lap. Micah picks up the gun and pushes a full clip into the handle. On the seat of the passenger side, there is a cell phone, Micah picks it up and dials 911 and puts the phone up to his ear. At this all sound except for the music is cut. We see Micah mouthing something into the phone.
MICAH
(Silently) Come to Elm Street. Someone is going to die.
Micah closes the phone and drops it into his lap. He begins rocking faster and mouthing something as he does.
MICAH
(Silently) No more tears. No more tears. No more tears. No more tears. No more tears. No more tears.
Micah throws the door open and the camera changes to the outside of the car as he flings open the door and quickly steps out.
EXT. OUTSIDE JIM COURD’S HOUSE - NIGHT
He looks up into the sky to see the moon for the last time. He looks over to the neighborhood and focuses on the falling leaves of a tree for the last time. His eyes then go to the open window of the house he is walking to and he sees his father throwing his grandson up and down into the air and his wife and children laughing as they enjoy their lives. Micah takes a deep breathe without hesitation or remorse begins walking up the driveway. He gets to the door and focuses on the welcome mat on the ground below his feet, he then uses the door’s knocker to announce his arrival. He waits for a moment as he hears laughing cutting through the music as his father breaks from the grandchild to answer the door. The door opens and there is Micah and his father staring face to face for the first time looking strikingly similar. They look intently into each others eyes, Jim’s face is that of bewilderment, and fascination, and wonder. Micah’s is one of pure hate and determination. Micah’s face begins to quiver a little, his eyes wide and piercing. For a moment the silence gets awkward and Jim begins to nod a little as if he knows something is going to happen. At this nod the music cuts completely as Micah raises his gun from his side and opens fire. The only sound we hear is the sound of the clicking of the gun, no shots, no screaming, no music.
INT. JIM COURD’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Micah unloads the entire clip into the chest of his father as his family comes running and screaming from the living room to find Jim who is lying on the floor looking up with the same look of bewilderment he had the whole time, their eyes meet again and the feelings change. Jim looks deeper into Micah and realizes who it is, and with a slight grin, he nods and goes limp. Micah unlatches the clip and lets it fall to the chest of his father. He turns his attention to Jim’s family and looks at them with a slight hint of shame and slightly jealous of their love. Micah then turns around and sees the lights from the cop cars out the window. He opens the door of the house and raises his gun into the air. He walks into the street where the cops are kneeling and shouting from behind their cars. The music picks back up, but only the music. He is standing about 100 feet from the cops who are ready to fire their weapons. He looks at the family kneeling and crying over Jim Courd, then looks back at the sky. Micah mouths No more tears for the last time then raises his unloaded gun at the policemen and pulls the trigger and gets nothing but a click of empty gun. The cops open fire freely and fill Micah’s body with bullets from all over the place. Micah reels back and falls to the ground and lays down on his back looking up. The camera shoots from Micah’s eyes out to the sky where he sees two cops come walking up above him. They look down as one of the cops picks up the gun and shows the other that is was not loaded. The two cops just look down at Micah who is dying fast with regret and pain. Micah’s eyes begin to blur and a hint of red blood floods in from one eye. The scene slows down as Micah looks up and watches as one of the officers drops a yellow rose onto his chest. The camera shows the rose hit his chest, bounce once then settle. Back to Micah’s eyes we see them close and the scene fade to black.
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. PEOPLE MOVER - DAY
The camera zooms out from Micah’s eyes. Music begins and we see Micah leaning against the window of a large People Mover car, to the viewer it is obvious that he is leaving and isn’t really planning on coming back home. His suicide letter is on his lap, a pen in his hand.
MICAH
(Narrated) Maybe Lonliness is just a habit, or maybe it was like the hick-ups, I could scare it out of me, or hold my breath for a long time, that would certainly do it. But no matter how hard I tried; the beast keeps chasing me, so I embrace it. I love it. It gives me reason to hate you, to make it me against the world. It is a cruel siege that sucks the pride out of being human, and leaves you feeling invisible from life and from love.
The camera just focuses on the side of Micah’s face and the scenes of cars dashing by on the other side of a country freeway. As we drive we see people passing by Micah on the bus, each looking downcast and sorrowful. First a mother comes walking wearily past Micah holding her child who is dirty and nonresponsive. To the immediate left of Micah is a homeless man sitting on the seat with a bottle of booze in his hands, drinking and looking straight down at his lap at the bottle that he has come to know as his friend. To the front right of Micah we see a man sitting and eating dinner alone, not really paying attention to his food, just kind of eating to survive. Micah notices the solemn faces and hearts and just lays his head back down on the window.
FADE TO:
EXT. MICAH’S BACKYARD CLUBHOUSE - DAY
Micah (12), Vern, Ellis, and Ollie sit in the club house staring at each other with nervous faces. Micah holds a knife in his hands and looks at the faces of the other three boys sitting, dreading what is to come next.
MICAH 12
Alright. Its just blood right?
VERN
Come on Micah, we don’t have to do this.
Micah scowls up at Vern.
MICAH 12
Yes we do. This is everything, this means we are brothers and no one can take that from us. You die, I die first.
Micah takes the knife and runs a neat and surprisingly straight line down the front of his hand, the blood immediately comes to the surface as he sits motionless except for the slight grimace of pain on his face. He hands the knife off to Ellis.
ELLIS
I can do this. Micah man, why do you make us do this stuff, why can’t we just shake hands and call it friendship.
Ellis, without hesitation takes the knife and runs it down his hand, leaving a line of blood behind. He then hands the knife to Vern.
VERN
Brothers for life.
Vern cuts his hand with a slight moan and hands the knife to Ollie who shakes his head in disapproval.
OLLIE
I have to do it now?
Ollie takes the knife and stabs himself quickly in the hand and draws blood. He drops the knife on the floor and thrusts out his bloody hand at Micah. Micah takes his hand and grasps Ollie’s tightly as the blood of both of them drips from their hands. Micah then turns to Ellis and they all follow suit and shake each others bloody hands. After the ceremony is over, Micah takes his hand into the air and drops it onto Ollie’s face rubbing blood all over his cheek. Ollie shrieks and comes back at him with his own. Ellis and Vern get involved and soon they are wrestling in a pile on the floor smearing and throwing blood all over each other.
FADE IN:
EXT. MICAH’S BACKYARD CLUBHOUSE - NIGHT
The scene fades in and finds Micah sleeping on the floor in the silent night with Vern, Ollie, and Ellis, still smattered with dried blood, lying around him on the floor. Micah’s eyes pop open and he looks around the room at his friends sleeping, he gets up and walks out of the clubhouse into the night. He just stands there looking up at the clear night sky at the stars, he holds the stair for a few moments then whispers.
MICAH 12
Where are you? Where are you?
FADE OUT.
EXT. HORSE ISLAND - NIGHT
Micah (19) and Ollie are sitting under the bridge fishing.
OLLIE
When we caught those birds today. Do you do that kind of stuff when you are alone? I kinda get that impression. Ellis said he saw you run up to some girl at the mall and kiss her then run away.
MICAH
Yeah, I guess. Jonesing. From that movie Mr. Jones, he was a crazy man, that didn’t care what other people thought or said about him. He would do that. He would go up to some girl that he thought was hot and just kiss her in front of her boyfriend, then just run.
OLLIE
Dude that’s sweet.
MICAH
This might sound weird, but I like to live as if someone were watching me all the time, with like movie theme music and stuff. I never really feel alone, if I laugh I do as if someone is watching, if I cry, I try to look cool because someone is watching, (They look at him as if he were weird) hey man, its all I got.
OLLIE
I live to get my dads attention. I guess there isn’t anything that I want more than for him to be proud of me.
MICAH
Dude your gay.
OLLIE
When he is around, I’m happy.
MICAH
I used to be happy. When we were little, me and Vern used to run away from his house at night and stay out until morning, when his parents would notice and come running to find us. We were always in the same place, in the woods by his house, but we would stay out until daylight, then come home. I just remember the feeling I got when Vern’s mom would grab us and hug us. She was so relieved that we were standing in front of her. I remember that. Sometimes I think that I could go right back into those woods for weeks and no one would come looking.
Micah lays his head back onto the wall.
FADE TO:
EXT. HORSE ISLAND - DAY
Ollie wakes up first in the early morning, he is cold and wet from the morning dew. He sits up and looks around at the morning sky, it is beautiful. He pushes Micah to wake him. Micah sits up and looks with Ollie at the beautiful sky that seems to be shining at them.
MICAH
We going to work today?
OLLIE
I think I could staying here all day.
MICAH
Me too.
OLLIE
Does my breath stink?
Ollie leans over to a repulsed Micah.
MICAH
You could repaint this wall man.
OLLIE
I gotta go, the old lady’s gonna wonder where I went all night. You gonna be with Cam later?
MICAH
No, we broke up.
OLLIE
Really? Why?
MICAH
I don’t know, it took her getting pregnant for us to realize we didn’t really like each other.
OLLIE
What are you going to do?
MICAH
Be a good dad, no kid needs to see their parents fighting all the time, so this way we can give the baby the best of both of us.
OLLIE
Yeah... well I gotta go, you leavin?
MICAH
No I think I’ll just hang out here for a while.
OLLIE
Alright, see at home later then.
MICAH
Yeah.
Ollie walks off leaving Micah there by himself. Once Ollie is gone, Micah pulls out a marker and begins carving into the wall behind him. He carves the words, People On Crosses.
CUT TO:
INT. MAXINE’S CAR - DAY
In the car is Mathew, Micah (12), and Maxine.
MICAH
Do we have to go see grandpa?
MAXINE
You know your grandfather is looking forward to seeing you.
MICAH
He is not, I have never even talked to him, he doesn’t even send me Christmas presents.
MAXINE
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
MICAH
He sends them to Mathew.
MATHEW
That’s because mom married my dad.
MAXINE
No, that isn’t why Mathew. Micah, just don’t give me a hard time this weekend OK. Its only one weekend and you will do just fine.
Micah just looks at his mom.
CUT TO:
INT. EDWARDS KITCHEN - NIGHT
Micah’s grandfather is setting the table for dinner as his wife gets the food ready for the meal. On the wall of the kitchen is a picture of Grandpa with a priest suit on.
GRANDPA’S WIFE
Dinners ready, did you boy’s wash up?
MATHEW
Yes Grandma.
The family sits down to eat dinner but as everyone takes there seats, Ed directs everyone to his preassigned seats and everyone finds a place at the table but Micah.
GRANDPA’S WIFE
Ed, you forgot to set Micah a seat.
ED
I didn’t forget anything.
Ed’s wife sets one more place at the table.
ED
So Maxine, how are things going with the church?
MAXINE
Oh just great. I have been asked to sing at the regional camp meeting next month. The skits have been going great as well.
GRANDPA’S WIFE
Well that is just great, but how do you have the time for all of that.
MAXINE
Oh my boy’s come with me.
GRANDPA’S WIFE
Do you think that they are happy with going to all of those places with you all the time?
MAXINE
Well, I’m not sure, but I can’t afford a baby sitter and the Lord’s work must be done now doesn’t it. I bought them a camper to play in.
ED
Now who’s fault is that? If you wouldn’t have spread your legs to everyone then you wouldn’t have this bastard over here to worry about. It’s bad enough you had him, but no you just had to keep him. (He chuckles)
Micah looks at his mother who is visibly appalled at the comments from her father.
MAXINE
Dad this is the last time you will see me and my boys.
Maxine gathers the boys and grabs her things and they leave.
CUT TO:
INT. MAXINE’S CAR - NIGHT
MICAH 12
Mom?
MAXINE
I’m sorry sweetie. You don’t have to see them anymore.
She does not face Micah, but wipes away some tears while pretending to fix her hair, not letting Micah in on her pain.
FADE OUT.
INT. ELLIS AND OLLIE’S HOUSE (BATHROOM) - DAY
The camera zooms in from the hallway into the bathroom that has the door half open. As the camera approaches, we hear Ollie writhing in pain.
OLLIE
Oh! Come on! Oh my God, help me! Ah!
The screaming becomes louder and more intense as the camera shows Ollie standing in front of the toilet trying to urinate. Ollie continues screaming until he sees a couple of drops of blood fall into the toilet. Ollie begins to panic.
OLLIE
Ellis! Ellis!
Ollie concentrates on urinating and more and more blood comes pouring out. He writhes and moans as the blood begins to flow freely. Ellis comes to the door.
ELLIS
What Ollie?
OLLIE
Something is wrong with me, look!
ELLIS
I’m not looking at your wiener man.
OLLIE
Ellis, shut up and look. Something’s wrong with me. I think I have a disease or something.
Ollie moans louder as a large stone drops into the toilet.
OLLIE
Did you see that?
ELLIS
Yeah, what the hell is it?
OLLIE
I don’t know, take me to the hospital.
CUT TO:
INT. ELLIS AND OLLIE’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Ollie, Ellis, and Micah (19) are sitting in the living room of Ellis’ parents house. They look in horror as Ollie explains to them that the problem was a kidney stone.
OLLIE
The doctor said that the stones were too big to pass. I was lucky to not have the one lodged in there as it is. They said that there are more. They have to put a stint inside of my penis and run it up to my kidneys.
The two listeners begin to writhe in their seats as they listen.
OLLIE
Then they have to hook me up to some electric shock machine and shock me while something punches me in the kidneys.
MICAH
What will happen if you just leave them?
OLLIE
I’ll die in a couple of years.
ELLIS
How are you going to pay for all of this stuff.
OLLIE
I don’t know.
ELLIS
The procedure seems pretty easy to me, why don’t we try to do it ourselves. They already put the stint in?
OLLIE
Yeah.
OLLIE
Ollie, you down?
OLLIE
We can try.
Micah and Ellis look at each other as this is an opportunity for a lot of fun.
CUT TO:
INT. ELLIS’S ROOM
Micah, Ellis, and Ollie are in Ellis’ room. Ollie is lying on the floor with his hand dipped into a deep well tray of water.
OLLIE
You guys know what you are doing, right?
ELLIS
Yeah, I looked it up online.
OLLIE
What site?
ELLIS
Don’t worry about it, it knows everything.
ELLIS
Micah you got the battery?
MICAH
Yeah, Hang on!
Micah enters the room with a large car battery in his hands and some wire and sets it down next to Ollie, who is lying on his back. Micah strings the wire around, both the positive and negative posts on the battery and dips the other end into the water. Ollie takes his hand out just before the wire touches the water.
ELLIS
Ollie, put your hand in the water.
OLLIE
No man.
ELLIS
Ollie, it won’t hurt, it will just feel weird for a minute, like you can’t move, but it doesn’t hurt.
Ollie looks at Ellis with uncertainty and plops his hand down into the water. The shock hurts, definitely and Ollie begins to yelp, not scream because he can’t. Micah and Ellis look at each other and nod, then begin punching Ollie in the kidneys.
FADE IN:
INT. THE BACK OF A UHAUL - NIGHT
Micah (19) and Ollie are in the back of a Uhaul truck. Micah is buckling himself and strapping himself onto the side of the truck wall with a strap. Ollie is standing in the middle of the truck bed wearing a football helmet.
MICAH
Alright Ollie. I think this will work. Now just remember to let your body hit the walls, and not your hands and arms.
OLLIE
Man! Alright go.
Micah knocks on the wall of the Uhaul to tell Ellis they are ready.
MICAH
Lets go.
The truck starts very quickly and Ollie is thrown running into the back door of the Uhaul slamming into it with his body and not his hands. The truck levels off and Ollie gets his balance just in time for Ellis to hit the brakes and send Ollie running very fast across the truck slamming him into the front wall of the truck. This blast is very hard and Ollie yells, then crumbles to the ground in pain. The truck speeds off immediately and Ollie is sent rolling on the floor toward the back door again. The camera changes to the side of the Uhaul and shows the truck speeding up and slowing down approaching a very large hill.
FADE IN:
INT. ELLIS PARENTS HOUSE - NIGHT
The scene fades as we see Ollie lying in his room with his body broken in casts.
FADE TO BLACK.